You Know You're Drunk, When...

Your husband's drunken attempts to drive you home are annoying enough that you want to get out and walk.



You know you're three sheets to the wind, when you pass out in a ditch waiting for him to come back and get you.



But you know you're COMPLETELY FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF when you SLEEP THROUGH SOMEONE CUTTING OFF YOUR FUCKING ARM.



Lemme guess... You think I'm kidding.



I never kid.



Brenda Humphrey, 34, of Romulus, Michigan fell asleep in a ditch on Tuesday, after getting out of her husband's truck a few miles from the bar they had been drinking in. When her husband returned to pick her up, he found her asleep - and missing one of her arms.



Police are as yet unable to locate the missing limb.