65 Million Years Of Evolution, And Look Where It's Gotten Us: Part 3

The 5-second rule is FOS.

He is now a food safety consultant and culinary instructor at The Art Institute of California in San Diego. "We teach students that any surface, especially floors, should not be considered clean, and any food that comes in contact with it is trash."

That includes counters that have been washed and sanitized. If the precaution sounds extreme, consider the potential for damp floors and what might be on the shoes of a worker who walked her dog or used the restroom before coming to work. Then someone lifts a carton of produce from the floor and sets it on the counter. Maybe you don't want to eat food that has fallen on that counter.

In other news, scientists spent money to figure this out.

Darwin rules this week, apparently. There's currently an epidemic running wild in Indiana - of TEH STOOPIT.

Why, oh, why, would I say such a cruel and hurtful thing, aside from my obvious callousness and general rudeness? Well, because these dumbasses are attempting to steal copper from POWER LINES. Hey, have 110,000 volts, why don'tcha? Fortunately for the power companies, this is kind of a one-off deal, since the thieves are very unlikely to attempt this more than once.

You gotta hate it when you get called in to work by mistake.
You REALLY gotta hate it when you called in to work by mistake, and have to STAY.
But it completely blows to new, unbelievable levels when you get called back to work by mistake and sent to Iraq for a YEAR. Jim Dillinger of Mount Oreb, Ohio, suffered this indignity when the military accidentally misnoted his separation date from the Individual Ready Reserve, otherwise known as the "Force of Guys We Already Trained And Therefore Just Have To Give A Refresher." Somehow, to me, this seems like a bit more than an "inconvenience."

Speaking of the military, did you know that despite "acknowledging" Wicca as a valid religion, Wiccan soldiers who die in the line of duty are not allowed to have a Wiccan symbol of protection inscribed on their military tombstone? Roberta Stewart, of Reno, Nevada, didn't know that either, until her husband died, and the military wouldn't let her put a pentagram, a traditional symbol of protection, on her husband's tombstone, despite allowing him to change his dogtags to read "Wiccan" and allowing Wiccan chaplains into the Armed Forces.

A note about this, for those of you who don't pay attention to these sorts of things. A pentagram is a symbol with many meanings in many religions. However, I'm really tired of the ignorance surrounding it, so prepare for a small discussion, hmm?

First, in Christianity, the pentagram does NOT represent Satan, regardless of what ignorant fuckmonkeys may believe. The pentagram in Christianity is used to represent the five wounds of Christ, or alternately, the five senses.
In Wicca, the pentagram represents the elements and "Spirit," and the circle surrounding it represents the binding holding the elements together.
This is a pentagram.The symbol used by Satanists, which is commonly confused with the pentagram, is correctly called the Sigil of Baphomet; it is represented by an INVERTED pentagram, with a goat's head superimposed. The Hebrew characters in the border translate to "Leviathan," commonly identified (incorrectly) with Satan.
This is the Sigil of Baphomet.

See the difference?
A "pentacle," a term commonly confused with "pentagram," refers to a physical amulet upon which is represented a protective symbol, and although the symbol of choice for most who wear them is a pentagram (thus the confusion,) the symbol is not defined by the term pentacle, and can be any symbol of protection you wish. Those kids you see in church camps wearing a cross around their necks? That's a pentacle.
End of minirant; I'm just tired of hearing the same old ignorant claptrap get repeated. Now you know what these symbols really mean and represent; try not to get confused again.

As if you didn't get annoyed enough by the damn things already, now there's ringtones for your landline! Yeah, you heard me right. I have no friggin' idea what was wrong with "rrrring!" to alert me that someone was calling, or even "bbbbeeeeepp!" in the case of my cordless, but this is completely ridiculous.

And last, but not least; Barbra Streisand.
Yeah, I had to go there.
Why? Because her fans are suing her for fraud, that's why. (!!)
See, a few years ago, Streisand did a "farewell" tour, for which she jacked up the ticket price SIGNIFICANTLY. Like, $1400 a pop significantly. Now, she's back on tour, and some of her fans are a bit pissed off that they paid through the nose for her final performances, only to be screwed a few years later when she decided that "some" millions weren't enough.
So, I did a bit of reading, and found some really interesting comments about this.
For example, there are some of her fans who are honestly stupid enough to think that her costs during the tour somehow justify a $1400 ticket price. You can read that here.
However, me saying "for the record: you're FOS" lacks credibility with some of you, no doubt; so I decided to do a bit of research. If her tickets were worth $1400 in 1999, because of her touring costs, then why are they only worth $750 this time? I mean, unless she lives in a special world, costs haven't dropped since 1999; so what's the deal? But it's more than just that.
I wanted to know what the real deal was. So I dug more.
Streisand performs onstage by singing. She has an orchestra, but I find it highly unlikely that her touring costs approach those of, for example, the entire Ozzfest tour, whose tickets are going for $100 this year. AS LOW AS $30.75 for general admission, but the most expensive single ticket you can get from general admission seating on Ozzfest 2006 is $100.
But, ok, maybe some of you are saying "but Streisand has a whole orchestra! Even 20 bands don't have that much gear!" This is, of course, in fact crap, but I'll give it to you for the sake of argument.

So, then, explain to me how Streisand has anything approaching the expenses of transporting THE ENTIRE FUCKING BARNUM AND BAILEY THREE RING CIRCUS. Streisand doesn't have lions, tigers, and elephants. Elephants are expensive. And so are clowns. The circus has clowns. Lots of clowns. Streisand has none. And yet the Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus sells tickets to their events for - wait for it - $125 for the most expensive general admission ticket. That's one sixth the price of Streisand's tickets, and you get to see a trained elephant. Oh, and the circus can sell enough tickets to fill Reliant Stadium in Houston. Streisand is expecting to fill Philly's Wachovia Center, which - to give you an idea - is about the size of Lakewood Church in Houston. (I say Lakewood Church only because they bought what was formerly the Compaq Center a few years ago during the HP-Compaq merger, and it became the new Lakewood Church center. Houstonians may remember it as The Summit.)

Anyway, I guess what I'm getting at is that if you honestly believe that her tickets are worth their hugely inflated price, YOU'RE A FUCKING MORON. That is all.