An Actual Conversation...

Me: GodDAMN your elbows are sharp!



Her: They're not that sharp!



Me: Yes they are! They oughta be registered as lethal weapons! Look at this pointy thing on the end!



Her: You have points on your elbows too!



Me: Yes, dear, but I KNOW mine are dangerous. This is why I don't hit you in the head with them.



Her: I don't hit you!



Me: You do too, at least twice a week.



Her: It doesn't count if I'm sleeping!



Me: Still hurts, though. Especially when you get me right in the eye.



Her: When did that happen?



Me: The other night. There you are, on your side, facing the wall, I go to put my arm around you, suddenly I'm seeing stars and there's this pain in my soul. When I can see again, you're on your back. I say "OW, WTF." And you? You go "Ehhhh." All whiny like I did something wrong.



Her: But I was sleeping!



Me: Yeah. One night you're gonna get me in the eye, and it's just gonna burst, and I'm gonna be like "Ahhhh! Ahhhhh!" and there will be jelly everywhere, and blood going like "Squirt!"



Her: Ewwwwww! You're gross!



Me: I'll make sure it squirts RIGHT ON YOU.





This is the kind of teasing to expect if any of you ever come visit us.