...So I guess I have to, also. (Here's hers, BTW.)
Bah.
The Marriage Survey
Body:
1) Do you love your spouse?
She is the star of my heart; I find out how much I love her all over again every time I see her.
2) How did you meet your spouse?
In Yahoo Chat, man. We are the original LS1 success story.
3) How long did you date before you were married?
Ok, I don't care what she answered. We're married. The fact that the government doesn't recognize it is unConstitutional and should be stopped under the establishment clause. To answer, about 3 years. When I asked, she said yes, and then according to the common law it only took 2 months. Yay Texas. Fuck PA though; the second we got here, we stopped being married, because PA doesn't "recognize" common-law marriage.
4) How many times did you break up before you were married?
LMFAO @ this question. I could tell the story of when we knew, but it was quite clear that we come as a matched set. There's never been any of that silliness; we both know who we're supposed to be with.
5) How many times a month do you fight?
Almost never. Mostly we just kinda go "Grrrr! 
" and then apologize about a half hour later.
6) What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Ummmm, depends on how you look at it I guess - I was gonna say "right" until she said so first, so I guess she's looking at it from the foot of the bed. You could say we're both right. Ha.
7) Who is the money maker?
We couldn't make it without both of us.
8) What kind of car do you drive?
It's an '85 Dodge Diplomat, dear.
9) Do you rent or own a house?
Rent, and thank god, because the property taxes around here are crucial.
10) Where is 10?????
11) What date and year were you married ?
nunnayadambiznezzbiotch!!
12) Do you have pets?
nope, it's in the lease
13) Do you have a baby?
We will in about 5 more weeks!
14) Who pays the bills physically?
Tara, since she's home during the day and I work 10 - 10 most days.
15) What kind of car does your spouse drive?
She hates the Dodge, so nothing.
16) What does your spouse do for a living?
She takes care of old people!
17) How many places have you lived as a married couple?
3.
18) How many kids do you want?
In all honesty before she got pregnant, I was waffling about 1. Now, I want 2, and she wants more money first.
19) Where do you both love to vacation?
Vacation? What's this strange new word?
20) What is your favorite place to eat out?
I love food; it's be really tough for me to pick just one, in all honesty. I can't blame Tara for not remembering, since I don't really have a particular favorite. There are about 6 places that make me go "Ooooo!"
21) What is a great date?
As long as Tara is there I don't care.
22) Who makes the decisions?
This is a command team, baby!
23) Who mows the lawn?
We don't have one, but if we did, I would, since she is a weakling.
24) Whose family do you see the most?
Hers, because mine is all far away, and stuff.
25) How many nieces and nephews do you have?
2 of each!
26) Do you like being married?
I brag on my wife constantly. Of course I do. I've never been happier in my life.
How Well Do You Know Your Woman?
Her age:
32
Her Birthday:
07/02
How long have you been together?
However long it's been, it hasn't been long enough.
How long did you know each other before you got together?
Quite a while; it was actually just being friends until one night when I called her to complain about this girl that kept pestering me - specifically, wanting to be my girlfriend, despite the fact that I really wasn't interested at all - and after about 7 hours on the phone, we had pretty much settled on each other as "the one."
What physical features attracted you to her first?
Her giggling.
Hair color:
Redhead!
Hair style:
Lonnnnnnnnng and sexy 
How did you meet?
Didn't we already cover this?
RELATIONSHIP STUFF
How serious is it?
Isn't this a marriage survey? Can you get more serious in a relationship than "only you, for the rest of my life?"
Are you "in love"?
and unreservedly. I love the way you think, dear.
Do your parents like her?
I think my mother thinks Tara's a helpless thrall who only acts the way I tell her to. This is because she doesn't understand we have enough respect for each other to check with each other before making plans - and I do it too. My grandmother loves her, though.
Do her parents like you?
Her dad and I get along famously. One benefit of getting hitched a bit later in life; Kenny didn't watch me go through that awkward phase, so he naturally assumes I'm not a complete idiot, because I made it to 31 relatively unscathed.
Do you trust her?
She is the one person I completely rely on to have my back.
[Does he let you wear his pants?] There's just not any real way to translate this question for the gender reversal, is there?
Do you have a shirt of hers that you sleep with?
No, I mostly just curl up with her. It's much more fun than a shirt.
Do you like the way she smells?
Yum, sugar cookies.
Can you picture having kids with her?
Absolutely.
What bothers you the most about her?
I'd have to really think on that one. She's such a wonderful person that I really don't have much to bitch about. I guess if I really had to, I'd wish she could fix fried eggs, sunny side up, without searing the yolk into a solid brick of you-can't-dip-your-toast-in-that.
Does she have a temper?
Sometimes. The best part about it is when she gets all pissed at someone else and gives me "that look," and then I know it's attack dog time. That's just all kinds of fun, because then I can be as rude as my natural inclination without an angry speech about it in private, lmao.
Are you happy to be with her?
More so than I've ever been with anyone else. My family's known me all my life, and she knows me soooooo much better than they do that it's actually embarrassing.
Does she embarrass you in public?
Hell, no. Any man should be honored to be permitted to escort her; I know I am.
SOME OTHER STUFF
Does she have any piercings?
No, she is a pain wuss. As a note - I used to, but after having an earring ripped out I decided that was not an experience I'd care to repeat.
Does she have any scars that you know of?
A few.
Is she Outgoing or Shy?
Tara's shy until she gets to know you. Then you can't shut her up, lmao. To be fair, you can't shut me up if you're a total stranger in the grocery line, so I can't really cast any aspersions, hmmm?
Would she hang out with you and YOUR friends?
She likes the few of my friends that she's ever met, so yes. A lot of my friends - for obvious reasons - chose to stay in Texas when we moved up here, so most of the bad influence kind - poker buddies, blah blah - are largely out of the picture.
Does she sing?
Not that I've heard. I will also note that contrary to what she claimed in her answers, my singing voice is rarely used, because it makes the tiny infant Jesus weep in his swaddling blanket.
What does she use in the shower?
God, I don't know, about a million girly things. And a bath poof.
Does she sleep on her stomach, back or side?
Her side or back mostly, since she's pregnant. She USED to sleep on her belly, though.
What's her favorite restaurant?
That's a tossup between Joe's Crab Shack and The Olive Garden. Seafood at both, great chow both places, but the atmosphere is better at Joe's. Both are on my short list as well.
What is her worst fear?
Bugs. No contest. She is totally traumatized by the sight of an insect.
What is your favorite of her physical features?
You're too young for me to answer that! Just kidding. No, seriously, her smile. She just lights up.
What is her sign?
Cancer. Perfect fit, too - she loves to approach things sideways, and gets mushy at TV ads.
Does she love you?
Absolutely and completely. Woohoooo!
Does she want to spend the rest of her life with you?
Yes she does.
How do you know?
Because she never lies to me, and she told me so.
Would you do anything in the world for her?
If she asked me to reach out and pull the moon out of its orbit in the sky, I would. It would no doubt then land directly on my toe,occasioning much jumping up and down and swearing, but I would.
There! I answered it! Are you happy now?!?
