So, Off We Went To The Doctor...

...At a completely ungodly hour of the morning. This is because the OB-GYN was a 30 mile round trip to a town about whose geography we know squat.



I can find Wal-Mart, but that's about it.



Because I'm smart, I used MapQuest. Because I'm smarter, I ignored their idiotic directions and used their map to plot my own course. Why? I'll show you.



Here's the original directions from mapquest, zoomed out to see the towns:





Here's the directions zoomed in to see the end streets:





Here's the route I actually took:





As you can see, my way was much simpler.



At any rate, we had more trouble finding parking than we had finding the doctor. We got there, waaaaaaay too early, but better early than late; filled out forms, and sat.



Finally, the doc's aide drags us back to the stirrup room. All you women can cringe now. Tara got herself set up on the Chair Of Doom, conveniently covered by a Skinny Person Sheet, and we waited some more.



I finally went out and put more money in the parking meter.



When I got back, the doc was there, and just getting ready for the exam. This is when I uttered a line that no doubt Tara will never let me forget, but it was too goddamn funny, I couldn't resist.



The doc pulled up a swiveling gooseneck lamp, aimed so he could see, and I said "I knew it! THEY DO USE A MINING LIGHT!"



Tara said "DAVID!!"



The doc looked at me like I was insane. But it was still funny.



Anyway, the exam done, all is good, the doc waves me over and does his thing with the ultrasound camera, and we see:





Our baby. James Mack or Danica Marie, we don't get to find out which for 9 more weeks.





Now with sarcastic commentary goodness!



Anyway, she's due on or about April 19th. This is only 3 days off from my little brother's birthday, so we're hoping she can hold on a bit long. If we try REALLY hard we might manage a Taurus.



Anyway, there's our baby. When Tara no doubt blogs her girly version of events, I will cross-link so you can see what she had to say. [*Edited to add linkage, see?]

...And Just A Brief Note:

...Because I just love the cherry-picking MSM.



They've made much just recently of the NIE - National Intelligence Estimate - saying that it claims that the U. S. presence in Iraq is causing a upswing in terrorism, or "jihadism."



But they missed the sentence that makes the whole Iraq war valid.



Convenient, that.



Anyway, although the so-far declassified segment of the document - not the whole thing yet, but it's closer - can be found here, I will save you some time.



The big, important paragraph, the one the media's been loving to repeat, is this:



"The Iraq conflict has become the "cause celebre" for jihadists, breeding a deep resentment of U. S. involvement in the Muslim world and cultivating supporters for the global jihadist movement."



That sounds dire, right? Except for one tiny problem. Look at page two yourself. That's not the whole paragraph. It concludes:



"Should jihadists leaving Iraq perceive themselves, and be perceived, to have failed, we judge fewer fighters will be inspired to carry on the fight."



In other words, if we persist in Iraq, despite the fact that they might be pissed we're there, they'll also see it as a losing fight and go home.



Funny how that kind of thing seems to get left out when it's MSNBC and the New York Times doing the reporting, ain't it?

...And Then, There's People Who Just Don't Get It.

I bitched, when the "Sexy Bunny" chain letter got sent to me 23 times in two days.



I bitched again, when the VIRTUALLY FUCKING IDENTICAL "Sexy Truck" chain letter got sent to me.



I'm here to do it again.



THERE IS NO FUCKING VIRUS THAT SPREADS THROUGH YOUR YAHOO BUDDY LIST. I PROMISE.

So does Symantec.



I've said repeatedly that messages sent out to 100+ people, each of whom resends to the whole list, are offensive, annoying, and goddammit, RUDE AS FUCK.



It doesn't seem to be sinking in.



SO, without naming names, since you know who you are, this is my advice to you:



LEARN TO USE GOOGLE. LOOK THIS SHIT UP BEFORE YOU SPAM PEOPLE TO DEATH. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TELL YOUR IDIOT FRIENDS NOT TO REPLY ALL WITH THE SAME GODDAMN MESSAGE.



This is your first, last, and only warning. Receipt of one more hoax, chain letter, "tag," or other 360 message bullshit monkey game will result in immediate deletion from my friends list, as well as my doing anything and everything in my power to block you from ever contacting me again.



I didn't want to have to take that step; I really didn't. You seem like a nice enough person, and all. But you don't seem to understand simple things like "google this," or "please don't spam me," or "I don't want messages of this type," or, fuck, "QUIT SENDING ME THIS BULLSHIT."



So: if you do it again I will block you. Because as nice as you seem, your 'Netiquette leaves a LOT to be desired, and frankly, you're acting like an asshole.

You'll Understand My Fury Momentarily.

The big news today sneaked in under the radar. Not that we're not interested in real news; it's just that Russell Crowe playing the Crocodile Hunter in an upcoming biographical movie is more of interest than the impending bankruptcy of state and local governments across the country. [*Updated to add: Well, maybe not.]



If you guessed I was pissed about the bankruptcies, though, you'd be right.



Pretty much the situation is this: state and local government workers are by and large unionized.



The unions routinely extort promises from the government to pay huge pensions, health care with legacy clauses, and other benefits to their workers.



The government routinely agrees.



And now it's time to pay the piper.



The Government Accounting Standards Board has recently amended its rules to require that state and local governments disclose to the public how much money the taxpayers are really shelling out for the bored woman at the DMV that can't answer your question because she is on break at her desk.



Let's see:

1. California owes between 70 and 200 BILLION DOLLARS to its pension / healthcare funds.
2. New York, between 47 and 54 billion. That's greater than the total net worth of all positive assets owned by the government of New York: 49.1 billion dollars. Nice.
3. Maryland's initial estimate is 20 billion dollars.
4. Alabama, 19.8 billion.
5. Massachusetts, 13.2 billion. Good job, Teddy boy!
6. Alaska owes 7.9 billion. That dividend is gonna get harder and harder to pay out, I suspect.
7. Nevada owes somewhere between 1.62 and 4.1 billion dollars.

Now, let's see what we're dealing with here. California and New York are historically Democrat, so no surprise there. Alabama has had exactly one Republican governor in 130 years. Maryland's current governor is Republican, but he's the first in 36 years. Governor King of Massachusetts is a Democrat. Alaska is traditionally Republican, making it the lonely exception. Nevada famously fence-sits; the governor is Republican, as is one Senator; the state Senate is Republican controlled, but the other state Senator and the House are Democrats.



I guess what I'm getting at is that they're both inept, but the Democrats seem to be worse.



At any rate: the web article here did not contain the part that really angered me. Ohhhhh no. That, I found in my local newspaper. Although I will admit the web article had enough GEMS of such brilliance that I was aggravated, such as the unions saying "it's not our fault if the government can't pay for us."



However, sadly, the online version of my local paper doesn't seem to have the same article as was on the front page today, and I checked both of them. The article I read that infuriated me so badly seems to have vanished into the ether. However, I have faith. I will try tomorrow to run down a copy of today's paper - the library should have it - and update with a scan of the front page.



[*Updated to add:]







But I'll tell you what it said: it said that the only way state and local governments will be able to make up for the shortfall is by cutting the budgets - to education, public safety, police, and other services. [*Updated to add: See?]



Nothing whatsoever, of course, was said about the possibility of simply dropping the pension plans.



Let me say up front that the notion of a pension has never made sense to me. If you start work at a company when you're 20 and work until you're 50, then live to be 95, the company should be forced, by virtue of your "loyal service," (which of course was totally uncompensated, and you were never paid in the least,) to pay you your full salary, or a large portion of it, for longer than you worked at the company in the first place?



Crap.



I am 100% in favor of a retirement account of some kind - get a couple of accountants together, and I'm sure you can devise a plan under which the employee and employer - private sector or government - provide equal funds to the account, which then makes money, even if only by virtue of interest payments from a CD, for example, and then is turned over to the employee upon retirement or separation from the company.



However, the notion that the company should be forced to provide you with a paycheck when you no longer work there smacks of communism. How much worse, then, to claim this privilege when the source of the funds is the taxpayer? And how much more communist can you get? You're taking money from someone else, and putting it into your pocket, without doing anything to earn it. Bottom line, that's what it is. Because unless you worked for free all those years, YOU WERE ALREADY PAID FOR YOUR TIME.



But it gets worse. The unions, who famously strike in government jobs, who have for years extorted huge salaries from the public wallet for people who cannot otherwise earn such salaries, are washing their hands of the whole matter. "It's not our fault they can't pay us." And so, because the unions are unable to see that it IS their fault, the public has to endure reduced education for their children, fewer firemen and police, worse road conditions... so that the unions can get paid.



But it gets worse than THAT. Much of the pension furor in recent years, and the reason that so many companies are now abandoning the entire concept, comes from a series of lawsuits allowing, for example, the children, ex-wives, widows, and other assorted family members of former employees to demand that despite the fact that they themselves have never worked for the employer, the employer should continue to pay THEM the former employee's pension benefits despite the former employee's DEATH. That's right; the worker can DIE, and other people can grub at the employer for money.



I'd be forced to say that even if there IS a pension plan in place, the employer's responsibility to the former employee ENDS AT DEATH. There is simply no moral way to justify paying people who did not contribute to the company for the contributions of one who did but is now dead.



Basically, the situation is that state and local governments are being asked to hand their citizens a huge tax burden after years of being put over a barrel by the unions. Either pay the pensions, agree to the pensions, health care, whatever, or the unions strike and the local government comes to a standstill. And because of this institutionalized blackmail of companies, and state and local governments, now that the bill is due, the organizations that caused the whole mess are washing their hands of it and expecting the public to simply pay them off.



I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Despite the objections of many, many misguided people, unionization is organized blackmail. It is a threat of force, and is inherently morally wrong.



Now that the inevitable bill for caving to blackmail is coming due - corporate bankruptcies, gigantic layoffs, immense shortfalls in funding for retiree benefits and healthcare, possible interruptions of government services - the organizations which have caused the entire situation are trying to pretend that they didn't make this happen, and that they're somehow entitled to the fruits of someone else's labor.



Don't let them get away with it.

Since Weird Al Seems To Do So Well Here...

I'm putting up a poll on this one, but, like, a real poll, with only one "OMGWTF" involved.



Weird Al has enough OMGWTFalarity without help, IMO.



So: some classic Al videos, hmm?

\r\nSmells Like Nirvana, from Off The Deep End
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nChristmas At Ground Zero, from Polka Party
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nLike A Surgeon, from Dare To Be Stupid

\r\n
\r\nIt's All About The Pentiums, from Running With Scissors

\r\n
\r\nUHF, from UHF
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nYou Don't Love Me Anymore, from Off The Deep End
\r\n
\r\nNow, the rest of these videos are set to Weird Al songs, but the videos themselves aren't his original videos. I put them in not because I didn't WANT the original videos, but because they were either extremely clever, or I simply couldn't get the original, or in some cases both.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nJerry Springer, from Running With Scissors. Video is The Jerry Springer Show mixed with I think Sailor Moon. Crazy. "That goat doesn't belong to you!"
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nI Think I'm A Clone Now, from Even Worse. Video is from Neon Genesis: Evangelion.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nTrigger Happy, from Off The Deep End. Video is from Trigun.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nYour Horoscope For Today, from Running With Scissors. Video is from Love Hina.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nHardware Store, from Poodle Hat. Video is from World of Warcraft, actually, and it's CRAZY how much time they spent making this.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nClassic.
\r\nYou may be wondering why I didn't include such gems as eBay (because I couldn't find a clever video OR the original, thanks youTube,) Dare To Be Stupid, or White and Nerdy. Well, DTBS and W&N I've blogged before; there's no point in rehashing. Trigger Happy and I Think I'm A Clone Now are not in the poll because 360 only allows 10 poll options.
\r\n
\r\n

Only One Thing Need Be Said...

....BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Thanks, Wendy!

Just Because...

...Because Bruce Lee made it look good on film, whatever your stance on the "controversy."

...Because this song is badass.

...Because whoever did this video had serious editing skills and made it look pimp.

...Because I can.

\r\n
\r\nSo there.

The Four Laws of OMGWTFalarity

Simply stated, as follows:



The "Zeroth" law of OMGWTFalarity: If two systems of OMGWTF are as OMGWTF as a third system of OMGWTF, they are as OMGWTF as each other.



The First law of OMGWTFalarity: OMGWTF can neither be created nor destroyed, and only changes into different forms of OMGWTF.



The Second law of OMGWTFalarity: The total OMGWTF in any system can only get greater with time.



The Third law of OMGWTFalarity: If the total OMGWTF in a  system becomes zero, all processes will cease, because nothing in the universe functions without some amount of OMGWTF.



I would like to note that the band mentioned in one of the above links, the Cruxshadows, kicks major ass. Check them out; they're worth the listen.

Now I'm Convinced. The Apocralypse Is Upon Us.

And no, it's not a misspelling. It's an obscure fictional reference. Go look it up.



Why do I say that it's upon us?



Because Ted Kennedy, my FAVORITE Senator, drunken know-nothing, inept pork-barrel-carrying special-interest-worshipping jackhat, has done something that...



Makes sense.



*Pause for gasps of shock and horror*



You may not have heard of the debate surrounding Net Neutrality; if so, you have your head in the sand, but that's up to you.



Net Neutrality is simple. It is the premise that Google, just as an example, pays all the fees it needs to when it pays for its internet access every month. It is the notion that the 'net should NOT be governed by huge telecommunications companies whose vested interest lies in the pockets of their stockholders.



It is the concept that those companies should not be allowed to squeeze out their competition by raising the bandwidth bill for their competition until the competition is shut out.



At its heart, it is a free speech issue. And so, with shock and horror of my own, I bring you the most cogent opposition to the current spate of anti-neutrality legislation yet uttered of which I am aware - courtesy of Senator Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts.

\r\n
\r\nThat, sir, may be the most intelligent thing you've ever said in your life. Despite all your many failings, I applaud you for it, and especially for the enormously public manner in which you chose to say it.
\r\n
\r\nAnd if you are using it as an election-year grandstand play, which I have no doubt you are, I hope your failure to stand by it, and the enormously public manner in which you chose to say it, take you out of office forever.

More Fun Than I Could Handle Alone...

...Which says a lot, folks.

Kinky Friedman Says: More Dope, More Lockup Space

Independent gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman called Wednesday for the decriminalization of marijuana to avoid further clogging state prisons with nonviolent offenders.

So, basically what he's saying is that despite the violent approval he got from voters for his comments about the Katrina refugees in Houston, he really doesn't want to be governor of Texas, after all.


Just when you thought your "keyless entry" car was safe from thieves, there's a sequence of numbers that, while long, will unlock every single keyless-entry car in the entire world. Gotta love car hackers.

Amnesty International seems to have gotten confused into thinking they're still relevant, or that anyone cares what they think. Sadly, this time they're actually right, but the fact that they are will no doubt be lost in the enormous outpouring of apathy that inevitably greets one of their pronouncements. Anyway, they now say that Hezbollah committed war crimes while fighting with Israel.

Ben Affleck, finally realizing the extent and magnitude of how very, very much he sucks, has vowed to quit acting because we don't buy tickets to his movies. And after that pronouncement, I'm going to keep right on; it seems my campaign is working.

Nintendo has decided they would like to dominate the console market this time around, thank you. Releasing November 20th, the "Wii," Nintendo's new system, will be able to play every single game ever made by Nintendo, or licensed for a Nintendo console, uses a new (and oddly, despite my initial scepticism, kinda cool,) motion-sensing controller, and will retail for approximately half the price of a XBOX360 Premium. That's $250 for you non-division-enhanced types. Looks like there's a winner for my household - 1080P is just not compelling enough to make me shell out $600 for a PS3, regardless of how cool it might be. $250 might actually be possible sometime this decade.

Universal, seemingly misunderstanding the notion that the purpose of music videos is to advertise for their bands, is suing YouTube for allowing users to post music videos online. Despite the really, really stupid nature of this decision, Universal seems pretty upbeat, and confident they will be able to strongarm the world's largest online video archive into losing thousands and thousands of customers. Let me be the first to say: IT'S FREE ADVERTISING FOR YOUR PRODUCT, YOU STUPID, STUPID ASSCLOWNS!*ahem.*

You may not know about the imbeciles on the Chicago city council passing an ordinance requiring big retailers to pay astronomical "minimum" wages. They did. Mayor Daley, rightfully, vetoed it, and they were unable to override his veto. Now, with infinite genius and profound contempt for those they profess to serve, the unions are trying to force the city to adopt a higher-than-state-or-federal minimum wage for any business with more than 1,000 employees. Way to chase those jobs out to the suburbs, there, guys. I'm sure that will go a loooooong way towards helping those poor folks in desperate need of jobs in their search. Yep, sure does the inner-city poor good to drive big employers out of the metropolitan area. WTG.

In conclusion, I'd like to say thank you to all the above organizations, people, and anyone or any institution like them. As long as you stay stupid, I will have blogging material.

My Last, Really, I Mean It, I Promise, 9/11 Entry.

...Which I only make because there's a new video available.



Recorded - with a REALLY SERIOUSLY BITCHIN' CAMERA, might I add - from a 36th floor apartment about 600 yards away.



Fair warning. This video starts immediately after the first plane hit, and runs through the astonishingly quick emergency services response, the second plane, the collapse of the first building, and on for a bit after that. It is quite disturbing. If you are easily reduced to tears by the though of what happened, DO. NOT. START. THIS. VIDEO.



There's also the fact that it's huge - 71 MB. If you're on dial-up, seeya later, alligator.



For some reason, it's encoded in Quicktime, so of course embedding it won't work; I tried several different ways. Best I could do was a video thumbnail.

Anyway, here's the site that's currently hosting it, if you want to download it in case it gets pulled. I did. Someone ought to have copies of this stuff, so when people lie about it later, there's actual evidence.



I just want to say: never forget. Ever.

A Little Factual Re-adjustment.

I hate to burst people's bubble. You know I do.



But sometimes I just gotta.



Over and over in the news, especially immediately following any speech the President has given, I see the following phrase, or a similar construction, pop up:



"The President admitted that Saddam Hussein had no part in the planning of the 9/11 attacks."



Sometimes it's "acknowledged," sometimes it's "grants," but usually it's "admits."



I hate to break it to you. But factually, you're implying something that simply isn't true.



The President, the VP, the Secretary of State, THE WHOLE GODDAMN BUSH ADMINISTRATION, has never, NOT ONCE, EVER, claimed that Saddam Hussein was even in part responsible for 9/11.



They have, and continue to repeat, claimed that Hussein, and his administration, had links to al-Qaeda. Coincidentally, al-Qaeda DID perform the attacks on 9/11. But that's not the same as claiming Hussein did.



It's simple fact that the largest known concentration of al-Qaeda operatives in the world was in Iraq, immediately prior to the invasion. It's also simple fact that operatives are known to have contacted Hussein on multiple occasions, even to the extent of current #2 man, al-Zawahiri, or wtfever his name is, being seen at the Presidential Palace in Baghdad by hundreds of witnesses.



Clearly, Hussein DID IN FACT have ties to al-Qaeda. Bush, and his administration, have said that. Many times. They've never even attempted to tie Hussein to 9/11; and frankly I'm tired of the lying about it, and the coy attempts to make it look after the fact as though they did.



Hey! Reporters! Stop trying to fool the people who've never heard any of Bush's speeches themselves. That's contemptible. There's plenty of material for you negativists to work with, without trying to distort the things he's said. Why, oh why, can you guys not just simply make fun of the things HE'S ACTUALLY DONE WRONG? Why are you so married to the concept of "proving" him wrong in regard to the war on terror?



Is it maybe because you've invested yourselves into it so much at this point that you know that if the war is ever won, your credibility will be destroyed forever? Are you really willing to risk that credibility, through a combination of falsehood, outright fabrication, distortion, and implication without evidence, to try to protect yourselves from that outcome?



I'm just curious. Let me know when you figure it out.



In the meantime, why not READ WHAT THE PRESIDENT HAS ACTUALLY SAID ABOUT HUSSEIN AND AL-QAEDA?



I know this is a foreign concept. But try it.



Here's some.



Here's some more. (Including "admits" goodness.)



Here's even more.



And yet more.



Here's what then - Press Secretary Scott McClellan said.



Here's what the President said to the U.N. General Assembly.



Here's the President's speech presenting the justification for war on Iraq. ( In 2002. Dispute all you like his justification - nowhere in that speech does he say, even once, that Hussein was involved. He does say Hussein CELEBRATED afterwards, but that's actually a matter of public record.)



Check it out for yourselves. Instead of buying the media's bullshit story, go to the White House website and read the text of the President's comments yourself. Hell, they archive transcripts of EVERY SINGLE THING HE'S SAID IN PUBLIC SINCE HE TOOK OFFICE.



Never even once did he claim that Saddam perpetrated 9/11. He has done so very many things wrong that I am simply incensed by the media's total inability to simply attack the things he's actually done wrong. Instead, they resort to a never-ending train of outright lies, in the long run destroying their own credibility.



Sadly, the few news organizations not participating are being tarred with the same brush of loss of credibility merely for being in the same profession. That's a crying shame, and I hope sincerely that the New York Times, the Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC, CBS, and many others are one day called to account, most severely indeed, for their lies, falsehoods, and outright betrayal of the public trust.

It's The Lies That Cause The Cancer, I Tell You...

And several examples of this sadly hit the news services today.



I'm going to tell you all about it. I bet you're just FIRED RIGHT UP with antici-





-pation.



(If you don't get that joke, you're either very sheltered or under 20. Either way, HAHA.)



First off, in a blatant attempt to ingratiate themselves with the U. S.  government, the government of Syria "foiled" a plot to carbomb the U. S. embassy in Damascus.



Why the quotes? Because the Western investigators who looked at the evidence after the hoopla was all over are "not convinced it wasn't staged."



Which means at least some of them are convinced it WAS staged. Which means Syria set up a fake terrorist attack to try to make us like them.



It's the lies that cause the cancer.



Secondly, ever since Kinky Friedman, bizarre and likely-to-win gubernatorial candidate in Texas, said that the Katrina refugees who'd come to Texas were by and large "crackheads and thugs," people have been calling him racist, prejudiced, blah, blah, blah.



The facts? Of the 262 murders they've had this year so far, a number 20% higher than prior to the arrival of the refugees, for your information,  the city of Houston has discovered that 59 of those murders involved Katrina refugees, on either side of the body bag.



I'm sorry, the numbers don't bear out your hypothesis, there. Mr. Friedman seems to be a fairly accurate assessor of reality, and too honest for his own good, might I add. Let's hope he gets elected, it might be nice to see an HONEST person in office one of these days.



Lies, lies, lies. They cause cancer, you know.



Another batch of people who are telling lies, well-meaning enough but lies nonetheless, are the conspiracy cranks. Like the folks who made "Loose Change," a "documentary" purporting to provide evidence that our government in fact faked the events of 9/11.



Mkay. They purport to have seismological evidence of multiple explosions in the WTC buildings - you know, they were DEMOLISHED, not brought down by the planes. The problem, of course, is that the actual seismographic records show no such thing.



They also explain the damage to the Pentagon as caused by a cruise missile, because the hole was too small for a plane - with convincing enough graphics, but wait - the eyewitness they quote as saying "it looked like a cruise missile with wings" told Popular Mechanics magazine that that was how he described the American Airlines plane, because it was flying so low it didn't look real.



You may remember, or you may not, that the FAA and the Air Force recently released the audio tapes of the air controllers at NORAD that day, thus proving that Flight 93 was in fact pretty clearly not shot down by the Air Force, despite the conspiracy nuts' yammerings, because they didn't have any planes within intercept range of it by a huge margin; they thought Flight 93 was headed towards the Capitol building, and were scrambling to get someone there.



A pack of lies, I tell you. And I'm tired of it.



Stop trying to rewrite history. Stop trying to tell us things that aren't true, especially if they require us to be brain-dead vegetables incapable of rational thought to be believed.





And before anyone asks about the title, let me answer their question.



Have you seen the list of shit that causes cancer?



No? Well, here it is.



Once you do some research, and get past all the long-ass chemical names, you wind up with a list of products that contains every single thing you do, eat, drink, wear, smell, or have sex with to have fun.



Riiiiight. That just means you don't friggin' know.



So, here's my theory. Everyone, everywhere, has told at least one lie.



That means every single individual in history who's every gotten cancer, has also told lies.



That means that the most clear, defined common factor among cancer victims, regardless of race, creed, gender, height, weight, eating habits, smoking preference, drinking, sexual predilections, artificial sweeteners, clothing fabric choice, geographical location, exposure to insect pests, exposure to industrial chemicals, or diet, is lying.



Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one - tells us that since lying is 100% present in cancer victims, and NO OTHER FACTOR CAN SAY THAT, the most likely cause of cancer is lying.



I repeat, and stand by it: It's The Lies That Cause The Cancer.



So there.

And 9/11, Part II

...Which is over at Blogger.



It's long, but I feel worth it, although obviously you kinda have to decide that yourself.



At any rate:



The Nature Of The Threat, at Xeno's Paradox.

The Nature Of The Threat

I have talked about this before.

Terrorism, its adherents, its nature; I have mentioned all of it on these pages many times.

However, it's past time I displayed, for those of you who may not realize it yet, the nature and extent of the threat.

So, let's take a trip on the Way-Back Machine, shall we?

1979. On November fourth, the "Iran hostage crisis" began - a 444-day standoff inside the U. S. embassy in Tehran, during which diplomats and embassy employees from the USA were held hostage by the Iranians. There is speculation that this event was pivotal in causing then-President Jimmy Carter to lose his bid for re-election.

On November twentieth, a Sunni militant group of approxiamtely 200 men seized the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Saudi Arabia.

1980. On April 30th, Iraqi agents take over the Iranian Embassy in London. This siege was, as it later turned out, a prelude to the Iran - Iraq war.

July 27th, Said Al Nasr, a member of the Fatah-RC, kills one and wounds twenty by throwing two hand grenades into a group of Jewish children waiting for a bus in Belgium.

October third, four are killed and twelve are injured when the Rue Copernic synagogue in Paris, France is bombed; despite claims of responsibility by the FNE, the police conclude the PLO was responsible.

1981. August 29th, the Stadttempel synagogue in Vienna is attacked with machine guns and grenades, wounding 23 and killing 2. Marwan Hasan and Hesham Mohammed Rajeh were convicted.

On October sixth, Anwar Sadat, then-President of Egypt, was assassinated by Islamic Jihad.

On October 20th, a synagogue in Antwerp, Belgium, is attacked, killing three and wounding sixty.

1982. On August 9th, a restaurant on the Rue des Rosiers, Paris, France is machine-gunned and bombed by Fatah-RC, killing 6 and wounding 22.

On September 14th, the Lebanese Prime Minister, Bashir Gemayel, and twenty-five others are killed by a car bomb. Habib Tanious Shartouni, a member of the Syrian Social Nationalist Party, is convicted of the crime, and later released from prison by the Syrian army.

September 18th, a synagogue in Brussels is attacked, and four people are wounded. The gunman escaped, but is believed to be a member of Fatah-RC.

October 9th, the central synagogue in Rome, Italy is attacked with grenades and machine guns; one child is killed, and ten people are injured.

1983. On April 18th, the U. S. embassy in Beirut is destroyed with a car bomb. 63 people are killed. This action is attributed to Islamic Jihad.

September 23rd, Gulf Air Flight 771 is destroyed by a bomb planted by Fatah-RC. All 117 pasengers and crew are killed.

October 23rd, the U. S. Marine Barracks in Beirut is bombed. 241 Americans and 58 French are killed; 60 Americans and 15 French are injured. This remains today the single deadliest attack against Americans overseas since World War II. Although the true identity of the bombers is still not known, evidence points to Islamic Jihad. (Later, Hezbollah. Same folks, different name. Vive' la difference.

1984. On March 7th, 3 are killed and 9 wounded when a civilian bus is bombed in Ashdod, Israel.

April 2nd, 48 people are wounded when a shopping mall in Jerusalem is attacked by machine guns.

1985. February 23rd: Hezbollah destroys a Marks & Spencer shop in Paris; 1 is killed, 18 are wounded.

March 9th, the Cinema Rivoli in Paris is bombed, resulting in 18 injuries. Hezbollah claims responsibility, and no-one else wanted it.

June 14th, TWA Flight 847 was skyjacked. The passengers are held hostage for two weeks or so, and then released. Hezbollah, again, is responsible.

October 7th, the cruise ship Achille Lauro is hijacked. One passenger - an American Jew - is killed and thrown overboard. The hijackers were members of the Palestine Liberation Front.

November 23rd, EgyptAir Flight 648 is hijacked by Fatah-RC; in the Egyptian attempt to recapture the plane, 60 are killed.

December 7th, the Galeries Lafayette and the Printemps shops in Paris, France are bombed; 51 are injured, and the attack is attributed to Hezbollah.

December 27th, Leonardo Da Vinci International Airport in Rome and Vienna International Airport in Vienna are attacked by Fatah-RC. 18 are killed, and around 140 are killed.

1986. On February 3rd, two bombs are set in Paris; the Eiffel tower bomb fails to detonate, but the Claridge Passage bomb injures 7. The Fouad Ali Saleh group is responsible.

The Fouad Ali Saleh bombing campaign in Paris goes on for a good bit, with bombs on February 4th, February 5th, March 17th, and March 20th, killing 2 and injuring 52 total.

On April 2nd, TWA Flight 840 was bombed, resulting in four deaths and five injuries. The bomb was planted by Fatah-RC.

April 6th, the La Belle disco in Berlin is bombed by Libya, killing 3 and injuring 230 people, including over 50 American servicemembers.

September 5th, Pan Am Flight 73 is hijacked; 22 people are killed during the subsequent rescue attempt in Karachi, Pakistan. The hijackers are members of Fatah-RC.

The month of September was a memorable one for Paris; between Fouad Ali Saleh and Fatah-RC, five bombs are detonated, on the 8th, 12th, 14th, 15th, and 17th; killing 11 and wounding 159.

December 25th, Iraqi Airways Flight 163 is hijacked by Islamic Jihad. 63 passengers and crew were killed; 33 survived.

For some reason, 1987 managed to get away clean from the Middle East; all the terrorist activity during that year was Basque separatist, IRA, or Tamil.

1988. December 21st, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed over Lockerbie, Scotland, killing 270 people, including 11 from Lockerbie killed by falling debris. Libyan intelligence officers were found to have been the perpetrators.

1989. July 9th, two bombs kill one pilgrim and wound 16 others in Mecca.

September 19th a suitcase bomb planted by Libyan intelligence destroys UTA Flight UT-772 on its way to Paris, killing all 171 passengers and crew.

The 1990s. Bush Sr. and Clinton. BY THIS TIME WE HAD NO EXCUSE FOR OUR LACK OF PREPARATION. THE BOMBINGS AND ATTACKS HAD BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER A DECADE.

1990: the PLF attacks Tel Aviv. The PLO attacks the U. S. embassy in Israel.

1992: The Israeli embassy in Beunos Aires, Argentina is destroyed by a bomb planted by Islamic Jihad; 29 are killed, 242 are injured. The Iranian embassy in Ottawa is attacked by MEK - an Iraqi religio-fascist group.

1993: This gentleman right here came all the way to the USA just to shoot up a busy intersection with an AK-47 and then head home; He killed 2 and wounded 3. The World Trade Center was carbombed, killing six and wounding over 1000. The bombing was orchestrated by a coalition of five groups, including Hamas and Hezbollah. A series of Muslim carbombings in Mumbai, India killed 257 and injured 1400 others, and a bomb in Calcutta killed 60 more a week later. The follow-on attack to the WTC bombing fell apart when the radical Islamic cleric in charge of planning it was arrested.

1994: Hezbollah blew up the AMIA building in Buenos Aires, killing 85 and wounding 300 or more. They also blew up Alas Chiricanas Flight 00901, killing all 21 people aboard. They also attacked the Israeli embassy in London, injuring 20 people. A banner year for them. This year also saw the beginning of the uprising in Bahrain, the bombing of Philippine Airlines Flight 434 by Al-Qaeda planner Ramzi Yousef, later convicted of assisting with the first WTC bombing, and the hijacking and attempted intentional crashing of Air France Flight 8969 by the Armed Islamic Group.

1995: The Operation Bojinka plot - to bomb 11 U. S. airliners, by Ramzi Yousef, is foiled after a fire in an apartment leads authorities to a laptop containing the plan. A whole series of bombings is carried out in France by the Armed Islamic Group. The OPM-SANG building in Riyadh, Suadi Arabia is bombed, killing 7, and the Egyptian embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan is bombed, killing 19.

1996: The Khobar Towers housing complex in Khobar, Saudi Arabia is bombed by Hezbollah, killing 19 U. S. servicemen and 1 Saudi, and wounding 372 people of varying nationalities. In his first "fatwa," or declaration of war, Osama bin Laden tells the world that the U. S. response to Islamic terror, and our response to the events in Mogadishu, (chronicled in Black Hawk Down,) indicate that we are disgraced, impotent, and weak, and promises double the rewards indicated by the Qur'an if young Muslims rise up to attack the U.S.

1997: The Luxor Massacre, in which Al-Qaeda - allied groups killed 62 people at the Deir el-Bahri archaeological site.

1998: The Wandhama massacre, in which Kashmiri Militant Islamics carried out "ethnic cleansing" against 24 Kashmiri Pandits. Oddly enough, this took place in Kashmir. Also, in India, a campaign of 13 bomb attacks, killing 46 and wounding over 200, took place in Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu, India. Al Umma, an Islamic fundamentalist group, claimed responsibility. In an orchestrated, simultaneous attack by Al Qaeda, the U. S. embassies in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania and Nairobi, Kenya are bombed; 257 are killed, over 4,000 wounded. In a letter to the world, Osama bin Laden claims that the weak U. S. response to this bombing proves that we are weak, corrupt, and ready for destruction by the sword of Islam.

1999: The Russian Apartment bombings, carried out by Chechen Islamic separatists, led to the Second Chechen War, and killed nearly 300 people. Ahmed Ressam was caught attempting to enter the United States to bomb LAX as part of the millennium bombing plots.

The 2000's. DURING THE CARTER, REAGAN, BUSH SR., AND CLINTON ADMINISTRATIONS, DOZENS OF BOMBINGS AND ATTACKS HAD TAKEN PLACE. WHY WEREN'T WE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY YET?!?

Highlights of 2000 include the bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 sailors and wounded 40 more, off the coast of Yemen. This was perpetrated by Al-Qaeda.

Regardless of any other events in 2001, the standout is September 11th.

I was at work that day, repairing a network workstation, and one of my co-workers came running in to tell me someone was watching it on CNN, and one of the WTC towers had been hit by a plane. CNN had already figured out what the Air Force took a couple more hours to get: it was deliberate. Not an accident.

I set up a networked video feed, so that CNN's coverage popped on every workstation in the building. Everyone there clustered around a workstation; classes came to a halt; work came to a halt; everything came to a halt. Some of the girls were crying.

I remember these motherfuckers. That's what went through my head. I remember the sorry bastards that attacked us, after we saved them from "ethnic cleansing," in Kosovo. I remember the ongoing campaign of terror against us, even if our leaders do not.


Maybe I was wrong to think that. But I don't think so. Because I can read, and the list above, which is no doubt incomplete, tells me that my first thought was exactly right.


Now we know the face of our enemy.


We ought not, as a nation, to forget ANY of this. Not just the images from 9/11, but the story in its entirety. We ought not to forget the fact that our enemies used our restraint to call us cowards; our attempts to settle things peacefully to call us disgraced; our attempts to stay out of the conflict to call us cursed before God. We ought not to forget those who died - ANY of those who died - but we ought to REVERE those who were going up the stairs when the WTC came down.


We ought to revere those who brought down Flight 93, rather than see it used as another weapon against us.


We ought to revere those who have fought and died to protect us ever since.


We ought NEVER to forget the face of our enemy, and the nature of the threat.


But most of all, we ought to STAY AMERICA. Because if we let our freedoms be destroyed by a tyranny of fear, our liberties be eroded and destroyed by leaders without vision and strength; our very moral underpinnings be bled away in the name of "security" against a threat that by its nature cannot be blocked away - if we let this happen, then our enemies have won. Because their purpose, their conviction, their goal, is the destruction of the United States. And they DO NOT CARE if they accomplish it, or if we do it ourselves.


Every 90-year-old granny strip searched by airport security makes bin Laden's heart warm with joy.
Every soldier spat on and mistreated makes him dance a fucking jig.
Every time our government tightens the noose upon our necks one notch tighter, it makes him weep with delight and praise the name of his God. For he knows that we have forgotten the face of our enemy, and in the desperate quest to stop one idea, we've opened the door to a far more dangerous one.


America is more than the WTC. It is more than cheeseburgers, barbecue, Ford Explorers, and video games. It is more than Hollywood.


America is an idea that there can be a place where people can get along; they can be as rich as they're willing to earn; they can do anything they want that doesn't hurt someone else; and they can rely on each other to help out. (Except in New Jersey.)


But we have forgotten the face of our enemy. Our enemy is fascism - totalitarianism - in all its forms, be it crazed Islamofascism, in which all nations must bow to Shar'ia or be bombed endlessly, or be it our own government slowly turning us into a police state from within.


We ought not to forget it. And we ought to fight it every step of the way.


The firefighters going up the stairs when the tower fell would want it that way.

Thinking About 9/11

I want to say something about heroes.



Ever since 9/11, everyone who died that day has been referred to as heroes over and over.



I hate to say this, but that devalues greatly the contribution of those who were in fact heroes that day.



Folks, if you Just. Plain. Die. Then you are a victim, and that is a tragedy, and should never be forgotten. The people who died at the Pentagon, and the WTC, and the passengers on the planes were victims of a horrible crime, and one which should never be forgotten.



If you die in a drive-by in gang territory, are you a hero? No; you're a victim. If you get killed during a bank robbery, are you a hero? No; you're a victim. If you get hit by a truck, are you a hero? No; you're a victim. Heroism does not consist of getting killed; it consists of willingly giving your life that others might live.



There were heroes that day, and they, too, should be remembered, because they didn't HAVE TO go out the way they did; they CHOSE to, because it was helping others.



You want to know who the heroes were on 9/11?



The firefighters and police that were going UP the stairs when the WTC came down.



The passengers on Flight 93, who despite the conspiracy theorists, in fact DID rush the cockpit of Flight 93, and bring it down, thus preventing another building - maybe the Capitol building - from being destroyed.



The rescue workers who as I recall worked in some cases for DAYS without relief, after the events of 9/11, to rescue everyone they could from the rubble.



Those are heroes.



Their contribution should stand apart; they chose it. It didn't "happen," it wasn't coincidence, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or the malicious action of deluded, small-minded religious fanatics that caused it; they chose to give their lives in the service of others, just as members of our Armed Forces have done since this country began, and continue to do.



I feel great sorrow for those who are lost, of any stripe; that they had to die is a shame, a tragedy, and a crime against humanity whose magnitude cannot be overestimated.



But the true heroes ought to be called heroes, and not lumped in wholesale with everyone else, to be considered the same as those whose enormous sacrifice consisted of going to work on time that day.

The Movie Game

The challenge is to come up with ten movies that start with the same letter.



The catch is that I assign you a letter, just like Stanggirl assigned mine. If you want one, say so in the comments.



I got "M."



So, we'll start with two from Fritz Lang:



M.



And Fritz' best-known film,



Metropolis.



Since Metropolis was sci-fi, there's:



Mission To Mars.



That movie was pretty action-y, though, so that leads me to:



Metro,



and since that was also sorta a mystery, we find:



Mindhunters,



which, since it's a thriller, leads us to:



The Manhattan Project,



which since it was only notionally thrilling and mostly comedy, leads to:



Miami Vice,



oh, wait, that was serious? Really? Well, in any event, it leads us to:



Monster House,



And from there to an Ally Sheedy classic,



Maid To Order,



and last but not least to Samuel L. Jackson:



Menace II Society.



All things eventually come back to Sam, at least in the movies.



As an additional challenge, I'd hope that anyone who gets a letter from me would at least TRY to get one of his many, many movies in their list.

I Just Had To Share.

Because this picture is, in my opinion, quite silly and amusing.

The Great 360 Playlist Challenge.

So, I have friends. Not as many as some, but quite a few nonetheless.



And today has been sort of a day for theme music.



So: I've decided to create a playlist of music, with videos depending on YouTube, for my friends.



But Wait, There's More. â„¢



See, what I'm gonna do is one song per person, granted not for EVERYONE on my friends list, but for the ones I cross-comment with the most. You know who you are.



I'm not tagging anybody, or anything retarded like that; this is my idea, but if anyone else feels like doing the same thing, feel free. I was just thinking about how people are always saying that such-and-such song reminds them of so-and-so, and figured "Why not try it out?"



So, without further ado: The Great 360 Playlist.





April. Because even if there's no Amish where you are, you know EXACTLY what living in the sticks is all about.

\r\n
\r\nBill. Because dammit, you just say anything that crosses your mind. And that should be applauded.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nJim. Because if there's anyone who lives in his own world, dude, it's you - but you're interesting and cool anyway.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nKJ. Because you're a total pervert, and EVERYONE wants you. BECAUSE you're a total pervert. That rocks.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nLinda. Because yours is. And it's cool, and funny.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nRina. Because you claim to be evil, despite the fact that you're actually just cool.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nSamara. This was such a toss-up... this one, or Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. This one edged it out.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nSheila. This song only because I know this is your guilty pleasure band, or one of them anyway. You're way cooler than this song, IMO.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nAmy. Because if there's anyone EVER, in ALL THE WORLD, who's familiar with the subject of this song, it's you, babe.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nWendy. Because you always make me laugh, and if there's anything sillier than this song, I've never heard it.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nAnd last, but most definitely not least, Tara. Because you have; you do; you will; and most likely, you are right now.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nIf you're not on this list, don't think I don't care; it's most likely just that I wanted a videos-only list and couldn't find a video for you.

Thinking Outside The Box

You've no doubt heard people use that phrase. "You gotta think outside the box." They explain it, correctly, as a demand that you orient your thinking outside of your pre-conceived limitations.



However, WTF does that have to do with a box?



Well, I'll tell you. Or rather, show you.



In the beginning, there's a thought puzzle, which takes the form of a square of dots, as follows:

The object being to connect the dots using the fewest number of lines, without ever lifting your pencil from the paper. Or, in this case, your Line Tool off the "canvas" in Photoshop.



The conventional wisdom is that 4 lines is the correct solution, as follows:





Notice this solution having been achieved by drawing the lines outside the boundaries of the box itself, thus the term "thinking outside the box," as the box shape does not imply a boundary, yet we tend to think in terms of pre-conceived limitations, and as such wrack our brains ferociously trying to find a solution with less than 5 lines.



Unless you're me. In which case, you can solve it with 3 lines.



See, the "conventional wisdom" is still subject to preconceived limitations itself. If you're thinking outside the box, why think only a little outside the box?



Why not think WAAAAAAAAAAAY outside the box?



Like this:





Now, THAT is thinking outside the box. And now all of you know the solution to that puzzle, and if you ever see this in some meaningless corporate presentation, or as a classroom exercise of some kind, when the teacher tells you "but, see, you can solve it in four lines," you can tell them "it's only a solution if it has the smallest number of possible lines. The smallest number of possible lines is three."



And then demonstrate.

Ok, Now That's Funny...

Probably not work safe, but funny as hell.



Gotta love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. I'd vote for them in '08 - I don't personally agree with most of Jon Stewart's personal politics, but his bullshit detector is unparalleled.



Without further ado:

Now THAT's funny.

Remember That Trifecta? Good Luck With That.

Well, apparently, there's not gonna be a trifecta in the works after all.



For those of you who missed it, not one, but two different Australian high schoolers asked out Miss Universe 2004 and 2006 respectively, and got "yes," as their answers.



Way to go, and bragging rights forever, right?



Until it leaks on the Internet, and Miss Universe 2004 backs out because of the publicity.



"It's not supposed to be about celebrities," my ass. Miss Hawkins, you are breaking a young man's heart, and spoiling an opportunity few will ever achieve, because you're afraid of reporters?



Well, you must have hated this moment, then. Maybe you're just afraid it'll happen again?

Gee, Welcome To Being Right On Top Of Things, MSM...

Remember I blogged about finding out The Prez is Google's #1 result for the word "failure" a few weeks ago? Yeah.



I love it when the MSM is way behind the times.



Now, honesty compels me to admit that this was old news when I posted it, too; a bit of digging makes me go "Gee, Z, Welcome to 2003, and stuff," because that's when the Google-bombing resulting in this silly situation originally happened.



That just makes it worse. I'm a latecomer, getting the story in 2006, anyway; for the MSM to be behind my already-late-so-there's-no-damn-excuse ass is just pitiful.



Anyway. Just thought you'd like to know.

The Music Challenge!

Since I'm in a good mood, I will share.



I read and commented on Sheila's blog post about this, so here goes:



When you comment, and ask for a letter, I assign you one. You have to ask - I'm not tagging, because it's irritating. But I give you a letter, and then you have to come up with 10 song titles starting with that letter. Then, if anyone wants a letter, you assign them one.



Sheila gave me "O," so here goes.

1. Omens - King Diamond, Abigail
2. Out From The Asylum - King Diamond, Them
3. Overlord - Bolt Thrower, Who Dares Wins
4. The Oath - Mercyful Fate, Don't Break The Oath
5. Obsolete - Fear Factory, Obsolete
6. One Last Sunset - Killswitch Engage, Killswitch Engage

Now give me a sec...






Only - Nine Inch Nails, With Teeth
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nOnly - Anthrax, Sound of White Noise
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nOf Mice And Men - Megadeth, The System Has Failed
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nOf One Blood - Shadows Fall, Of One Blood
\r\n
\r\nNow that's more like it. Any takers?

You're Busted: Minimum Wage Myths.

You have to love it when someone is caught in blatant hypocrisy.



Especially when it's someone who consistently accuses their opponents of the exact behavior they get caught in.



For example: it's damn funny when a Democratic pro-minimum wage increase group pays its canvassers less than the minimum wage.



I mean, come ON, guys! If you seriously expect to convince the public that you're looking out for their interests, rather than merely grandstanding for an election year, then you can NOT be caught doing something like this.



I could go into a huge rant about this, but there's no real point; the story itself is silly enough that it doesn't need my help.