...But TWO Blog Posts Today!

This one is straight-out opinion, with which you are free to disagree.



Be warned, though, that in the event of disagreement I will reply with a huge volley of facts and figures. The only reason I'm not trotting them out is because I'm currently exhausted and therefore lazy. (BAD blogger! BAD!!!)



So, ok.



Is there an actual REASON that so many people are retarded over power generation?



I'm referring to electrical power, of course. The overwhelming majority of our power generation, not just in the U. S., but globally, is oil-based.



For those of you "the sky is falling EVERYBODY PANIC" eco-warriors, you really ought to be hot on this.



Why, oh why, are we all so terrified of nuclear power?



When I ask this question, usually I get one of two responses. Either my victim says "because of the danger of meltdown," or, and sometimes ALSO, "nuclear waste."



Mmmmmkay.



First: meltdown has happened in the past. OOOOooooooo, scaaaaaary. However, the terror and hysteria over the half-life of radioactivity and its horrible legacy... has simply not been borne out by fact. Three Mile Island is not only inhabitable, but INHABITED, today. Those folks aren't scary Hills Have Eyes twitchy mutant freaks, either.



However, this isn't really relevant. If we had spent the intervening years developing reactor technology instead of spending time with our heads in the sand, our reactors would be safer, more efficient, cheaper, and smaller, by a huge margin, than they are today.



Maybe we'd be better off trying to solve safety issues than screaming that they exist and using them as an excuse not to use a proven technology.



Secondly, there's reactor waste.



This is a problem that utterly mystifies me.



Not as to how to solve it - I'll explain that in a second - but as to WHY IT'S A PROBLEM AT ALL.



Here's how to deal with nuclear waste, guys.



Take solid rocket boosters - cheap and easy to build, especially if they don't need a WHOLE lot of guidance. Or a huge railgun, but rockets would be easier.



Load your toxic OMGWTF reactor crap into them.



Shoot them bitches into the sun.



OMG! WTF! THERE ARE NO MOER TOXIC WAEST!!

If you are REALLY WORRIED that we might figure out how to recycle the stuff at some future day and be desperately in need of it, try shooting it at, say, Mars, or Venus, or even the Moon - somewhere where we can still go get it if we REALLY REALLY NEED IT but otherwise can safely ignore. None of the three places listed above HAVE ecosystems; no known forms of life exist on any of them. We can contaminate to our hearts' content.



Suddenly, you've reduced petrochemical pollution, averted the dangers of peak oil ("Everybody panic!!!!1!") and prevented radioactive leaks into our ground water.



At the same time, you've reduced our oil consumption by a huge amount, created much more stable, long-term generating capacity, and since nukes like the pebble-bed reactor can be clustered, done so much more cheaply than you might expect.



So why the hell aren't we using more?



The Governator - Arnold Schwartzenegger, for those of you not pop-culture literate - was presented with this problem when he took office in California. The eco-warriors had prevented any nukes for decades because of the "danger" and the radioactive waste, and yet demanded reduction in petrochemical pollution from conventional power stations. The result? Rolling blackouts. Waaaaaaay to go.



In California, the land of never coming to their senses, they still haven't come to their senses.



Hopefully we can manage it in the rest of the United States, at some point. Just think, if we close the oil-fired and coal-fired power plants in favor of nukes, prices at the pump will drop, because they will no longer be propped up by gigantic bulk purchases of oil by the power utilities.



Maybe it's time someone with some sense had a look at the problem, you think?

Not One...

There are a lot of charities vying for your attention come holiday time.



There are a lot of them that purport to be supporting our troops.



A lot of those, like the Red Cross, accept donations, and after paying their executives huge sums of money, dole out supplies to the troops, for which the troops are often charged.



Fuck all that.



There's a charity _I_ want to tell you about.



It's small. It's in fact run by two people, both of whom work for free. Their total "for the expenses of the charity" expenditures in six years has been the cost of a single laptop computer to track what they do.



In that six years, they've grown beyond their own wildest expectations. When LBEH started, it was just one guy, a gentleman named Ernie Stewart.



Ernie runs a frequently raunchy, always sarcastic, often hilarious website called EHOWA, short for Ernie's House Of Whoop-Ass.



I know; "oh, THIS sounds like a legitimate charity, and stuff." Oh ye of little faith.



Ernie is a veteran. Like many veterans, he remembered many holidays when he could have taken leave to go hang with his family, but was unable to go due to transportation expenses. Now, the military IN THEORY provides transportation to G.I.s for free, via MAC flights, but in reality those are what's called space-available transportation. Which means if there's no room, you're outta luck. What's worse, you can get stuck on the way BACK, and come in late - and that's against the UCMJ - you can get in serious hot water for it.



Not many G.I.s chance it. Especially with the ever-increasing stretch on the Military Airlift Command.



So, six years ago, Ernie decided that he had gotten enough emails from G.I.s complaining about being unable to take leave, and set up a Paypal account. He posted initially just within the forums of his own website, asking for donations to buy tickets for G.I.s stationed overseas to get home for the holidays.



Let's Bring 'Em Home was born.



Ernie got a wake-up call. The first time - December, 2001 - that he had the PP account open, he got $13,000 from his readers, and was suddenly totally out of his depth. Which brings us to the second member of LBEH - Kathryn Jensen. Kat works in the reservations department of Continental Airlines, and totally saved Ernie's bacon.



The second year, they had so many ticket requests that Kat took a week of vacation time to process them all; Kat and Ernie managed to produce 161 tickets for deployed military personnel.



They also got noticed, a little.



This year, they've received - so far - donations of $25,645.74, and 75,000 frequent flyer miles. They're accepting donations of cash or miles, and donations are tax-deductible.



They've already completed 45 tickets this year, and it's just starting the first week of December.



I can understand if you've never heard of them.



But if there's a charity that deserves our attention this year, guys, it's LBEH. ESPECIALLY all you Democrat "bring home our troops at any cost OMG" folks. You REALLY ought to be giving Ernie a hand.



I damn well will be.



[*Edited to add: I, clearly, am not the only one talking about this. This is good; more people need to be talking about it.*]

If This Is Where Political Correctness Takes Us, I'm In If It Ends In A Threesome

...And you will understand the title in juuuuuust a minute.

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\r\nWith me now?
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\r\n[*Edited to add: after viewing, Samara B. pointed out that at no point did either "legal team" mention possible pregnancy. LMFAO.*]

WOOHOOO! MORE FAKE NEWS!!! YOU LOVE IT, I KNOW YOU DO!!

...But this time, it's REALLY fun.

See, in the past, I've made a bit of a stink about so-called VNRs - "video news releases," which same are video segments bought, paid for, and usually filmed by big companies, or the government - and then aired by news stations as though they were legitimate news stories, often without attribution of any kind.

This isn't those.

Oh no.

It's MUCH better.

See, for the past several YEARS now, the West has been inundated by a flood of propaganda from the news media about how much the war in Iraq sucks.

Not that this counts under evidentiary rules, but every friend I have, which is quite a few, who has come back from Iraq, has said the same thing: "They're full of shit."

And now we know why.

The fauxtography and "rocket ride" scams in Lebanon weren't enough.

Nooooo.

The Associated Press has just been caught falsifying whole news reports specifically to make the U. S. look bad. Not "some," dozens and dozens. And this is only the ones we know for sure about.

Now, the lefty cookie-cutter reply is "So? That doesn't make things over there any better."

But it does mean there's doubt.

The comments on the blog I found this on originally are interesting; somehow, the fact that the AP got caught falsifying news stories was deemed irrelevant by the lefty posters, who immediately started their fingers-in-ears chanting of "Bush lied! Bush lied!"

Let's clear this up. No he didn't. The world community, and its various intelligence apparata, as well as the Clinton administration, all reported that Saddam had WMDs.

Our Congressmen - practically all the Republicans, and at least half the Democrats - voted to go to war based on this resolution, which features 23 separate points justifying the war.

So far, NONE of them have been proven wrong.

There's been a whole lot of yelling, and much is made of unsubstantiated STATEMENTS that various points were wrong, but no actual evidence whatsoever.

There has, however, been a flood of evidence that they weren't. Let's see. We FOUND chemical weapons over there. FIVE HUNDRED of them. There've been eyewitness reports that the bulk of the stockpiles were simply moved. We know for a FACT that huge stocks of military hardware were simply buried - because we've been digging them up. We don't know where most of it is, either; they'll be combing that crap out of the sands for generations. EVEN THE NEW YORK TIMES admitted Saddam had a nuclear weapons program.

The evidence that there were terrorist links is equally compelling. If there wasn't any kind of connection, then why is there a leader of Al-Qaeda in Iraq to issue statements?

Saddam's own rhetoric stated his intent to destroy Israel, and attack the West.

Yet somehow, the chanting of "Bush lied!" keeps on, and on, and on.

Let me just drive a stake through its fucking heart right now. If your notion is that Bush lied, and your source is an industry that openly falsifies even the most routine domestic coverage, you simply have no evidence whatsoever.

Are we clear on this? There is such a thing as FACT. There is such a thing as FICTION. The FACT is that the war resolution was fully justified as voted upon. The FACT is that a huge coalition of international forces aided and participated in the invasion. The FICTION is that we went in alone - leaving France and Germany out does not equate to "alone," sorry. The FICTION is that Bush lied about anything. The FICTION is that the AP and Reuters produce a product that can be used to substantiate, well, anything.

In reality, the situation in Iraq is shitty. This is not because we went in for no reason; it's because we went in with insufficient forces, and have since day one allowed our troops to be controlled by opinion poll, rather than military reality.

In reality, the coalition of nations that went to Iraq this time around was one of the biggest alliances of nations ever forged. 41 countries contributed troops and support to the invasion of Iraq. Woooo, we were sure fucking lonely.

In reality, the biggest detractors of the efforts in Iraq have been its biggest payees: Chirac, Annan, and all those who stole from the "oil-for-food" program.

In reality, we - none of us, lefty, righty, wingnut, moonbat, centrist, libertarian, NONE OF US - actually have any idea what's going on over there, aside from those with their boots on the ground, by which I mean actual ground troops. A general in the States is what we used to call a REMF - rear-echelon motherfucker. A RETIRED general, who has not served during this conflict, is ten times worse. And yet, this is the type of commentator the media is presenting to us: not troops, not the Iraqis, but retired officers who have never even served in the theater of operations.

WE HAVE NO IDEA what's going on in Iraq. What we do know is that our news organizations are deliberately falsifying their coverage to make the situation appear MORE, rather than LESS, dire. We do know that every report carried by Reuters or the AP is suspect; we do know that those opposed to the war have consistently falsified their data, or just outright made shit up, to "justify" their views, and then chanted in circles about it as loudly as possible, as though saying something over and over means it's true.

It doesn't. And we ought to stop letting them get away with it.

ITP: Domestic Violence!

I have a friend, Becky C. Her blogs are well-thought out, interesting, and very rarely do I disagree with her. However, I am a bit more of a rabble-rouser (Gee, you think?) than she is, and I try - I don't always succeed, but I do try - to keep in mind that other people's web spaces are just that; other people's.

So when a touchy subject comes up, and domestic violence is certainly that, sometimes I would prefer to leave my thoughts on my own page, rather than leave them as a comment.

Becky posted an entry about domestic violence today, and I wanted to comment. I REALLY wanted to comment after reading someone else's comment about how domestic violence laws favor women. But I realized, after reading what I wrote, that it might not be appropriate for her page. So I sent it to her as a 360 message - it being her web space, and all - so she could read it and decide if she wanted me to post it or not.

Either way, you're gonna get to read the less tame version here. Because this is MY web space, and I don't have to censor myself here.

And I actually feel quite strongly about this.

Ready?

Good.

I think the feminist movement is all fucked up.

WHOA!!! Big bad thought there. Throws you for a loop, doesn't it? But wait. Patience is a virtue, and if I get comments based solely on that line, without reading the rest, I will be disappointed.

The reason I think the feminist movement is AFU is because it has been co-opted. Originally, the feminist movement was about equal treatment under the law, and advancing the rights of women.

It isn't, anymore. Now, it's about vilifying men, ignoring biological realities, and advancing a political agenda only acceptable to those who are in fact insane.

This is why, back in the day, Rush Limbaugh coined the term "feminazis": specifically for the purpose of distinguishing women who are "pro-woman" from women who are "anti-men."

Of course, many, many women who are themselves unable to make that distinction got all pissed off. That's too bad, because he was right: there needs to be a distinction.

Becky's opinions, for example, are by no means hateful towards men; she is a FEMINIST. Gloria Steinem, for example, hates men and wants them all in cages, like the dangerous animals they so clearly are; she is a FEMINAZI.

That's the whole point of the term.

But it pisses people off, so let's not use it.

Let's instead use the acronym FUDAI: Fucked Up Dumb Ass Individuals.

Moving right along, what the HELL does this have to do with domestic violence?

I'm getting there.

Domestic violence laws, like any other laws, exist because someone got pissed off about something. In this case, such anger is more justified than it is in most such cases; a battered woman has an absolute right to be pissed as hell.

The reason they overwhelmingly favor the women is simple. Women get beat more.

Aha, now we come to it, don't we? Why, oh why, is that?

Because nature doesn't give a shit if we "feel" like something ought to be different. That's why.

Physical facts speak for themselves. Women are smaller than men; they have less bone density and muscle mass; they are genetically designed to carry children, which makes their leverage and joint structure different. All these are simple facts.

Saying "women can do anything men can," is naive, simple, and frankly, stupid. No they can't. Men can't do everything women can do, either. Because we're NOT THE SAME. Something that dumb fucking people - not just feminists, this crosses the issues and is a general problem, FUDAI of all stripes - simply cannot grasp is that inherent limitations are not evidence of discrimination.

If you have no legs, you're gonna be a shitty fireman.

Blind people shouldn't drive.

The mute make terrible telephone operators.

The deaf aren't all that great as vocal interpreters.

See how this works?

One of those inherent limitations is that women are not genetically structured for physical violence, the way men are. That doesn't mean a woman can't go to the gym and toughen up, or learn martial arts; it does, however, mean that there are consequences.

A woman who spends too much time in the gym begins to develop an overabundance of testosterone. You may recognize the name; it's the primary MALE hormone. It's also the hormone that stimulates muscle growth. And body hair. And facial hair. And deep voices.

Women who over-exercise get all of those, as well as losing their breasts and hips, and often their menstrual cycles. A woman who overexercises too much for too long can in fact become infertile.

BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT DESIGNED FOR THAT.

It is simple biological fact that women and men are not the same. Women have faster reflexes; better vision overall; better aerobic capacity, pound-for-pound; they can bear children; they require less food, and are better equipped to deal with cold than men.

Men are stronger, have better bursts of speed, are better at spotting certain kinds of details, have greater stamina, greater bone density, and can deal with heat more efficiently.

BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT THE SAME.

I'm not sure where we got the idea that the fact that men and women are different somehow implies some kind of discrimination. However we got that idea, it's bullshit.

It is a FACT that men and women are different. Denying that means that you're simply closing your eyes to reality.

Now, a part of that package goes together to affect - not explain, but affect - domestic violence.

Men are bigger and stronger. Which means that if a woman is beating a man, and he finally decides he's had enough, by and large a single return punch will end the fight. I've been in fist fights, and I've never had a MAN stay on his feet if I hit him squarely, as hard as I can. There is no such thing as a woman who could.

Dodge? Sure. Use incredible judo skills to use my own strength against me? Most likely. But straight out get hit in the face and not fall ass over teakettle? Not a chance. I'm a big guy, and I know how to punch, and there's simply no way in hell a female could take that.

And that's part and parcel of why I DON'T hit women. Ever. Even under great provocation. The only way I'd hit a woman is if my life were actually threatened. Sorry, but if you're coming after me with a gun, I'm gonna have to say "No," there. But other than that, never.

You know why?

Because I COULD knock a woman ass over teakettle. See, BECAUSE WE'RE DIFFERENT, we have different roles to play. You can dislike those roles, you can whine about those roles, you can fight them all you like, but ultimately, on a genetic level, men were designed to protect women. Not vice versa.

Part of being designed that way is a responsibility to do so. Only a coward attacks those weaker than himself. Or herself, I guess, although most women don't go for fisticuffs.

That notwithstanding, a man has a responsibility - BECAUSE HE'S A MAN - to defend women. Beating a woman is the greatest perversion possible of your design; it is directly contrary to nature's intent for you.

All of that is only marginally relevant.

In today's society, people - not just women - have been trained from a young age to believe - erroneously - that equal treatment under the law is the same as homogeneity.

It isn't. All races, genders, creeds, whatever, should receive equal treatment under the law, because we're all human beings. But I'd be the first one to admit that regardless of law, there are people out there smarter than I am. There are people more physically fit, more ambitious, certainly richer, maybe faster, maybe a better driver, whatever. Just as there are people who are less adept at any of those things than I am.

We are NOT equal.

We're not EQUAL, because we're not IDENTICAL. The notion of equality is silly. Equal treatment under the law should be the only goal of any "ist" movement.

But because we're not equal, there is responsibility inherent in that inequality towards one another. The strong defend the weak.

The moral equivalent of refusing to defend those weaker than yourself is performing the harm yourself. If you see a woman being raped and you don't try to help, YOU RAPED HER. If you see someone being mugged and you don't help, YOU MUGGED THEM. If you see people being murdered in boxcar lots and you don't stop it, YOU KILLED THEM.

Domestic violence is even worse. It is more than a defender standing aside; it is as though a king's personal bodyguard were the one to drive a dagger into his chest. When you beat your wife, you not only allow harm to come to her, despite your responsibility to protect her - you perform the violence yourself, in defiance of that responsibility. And to do that, you had to make a CHOICE.

Your parents didn't decide for you. Your teachers didn't decide for you. YOU decided.

I love and treasure women. The overwhelming majority of my friends are female; I spend as much time around women as I can. Because they're different from myself. They think differently; they emote differently; they make decisions differently; they are different. I, personally, need that contrast in my life.

Some of you may not; that's up to you.

Some of you no doubt think my urge to protect and defend women is somehow belittling, rather than empowering; that my willingness to lay down my life on behalf of my wife somehow denigrates her ability to do things herself.

Sure, she can open a jar that's stuck, if she fights with it long enough. My question is, why should she have to?

She can hold a door as well as I can. I'm still gonna save her the effort, if I get there first.

Because I love her. That's part of what love IS.

If you are an abused woman - listen closely. I'm gonna tell you the secret to it all. Are you ready?

IF HE BEATS YOU, HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU.

HE NEVER WILL.

HE WILL NOT CHANGE, EVEN IF HE PROMISES HE WILL.

Don't fall for the age-old predator's trick. "But if I've really changed, and you walk away, you will be the one to ruin our relationship. And if you don't come back, you'll always wonder."

No, you won't, because I can solve that problem for you right now. People CAN change. Most of them don't. If a guy abuses you, and then delivers that kind of line, that IN ITSELF is a sign that he's just trying to victimize you again. A guy who's actually changed will WALK AWAY, and try to lead a better life, rather than risk hurting you again.

Just so you know.

I'm pretty much out of steam, here. You can vituperate me endlessly about how I'm such a chauvinist bastard all you want, now.

It won't change the fact that I would take a bullet for my wife in a heartbeat, and try my damnedest to keep her from doing that for me, even though I know she would. My job as a man is to make sure she never has to.

[*Edited to add: a link to Chipmkr420's excellent blog about a coward, and the notion of male obligation and duty.*]

Reminiscing...

You guys may or may not know that my father died last year, in the week before Christmas.



You may or may not have read what I said about it.



But I've been thinking about him a lot, not just because we're coming up to that time of year, but because of the things I see changing in the world today. I know what he would have said.



He'd hate it. Because we've forgotten how to do so much.



I remember, more than once, making ice cream with my father.



We'd get a couple of chairs, go sit out front of the garage, and pour salt and ice into the bucket. Once we had a good pool of brine, put the tank with the milk, cream, sugar, and flavor in it - Dad and I both loved vanilla, so that's what we usually made - and start cranking.



My arms would get sore, my butt would hurt from the hard-ass folding chairs, it was hotter than hell on earth - Houston, in summer - but the payoff was a whole afternoon of shooting the shit with my father, sitting in front of the garage, and a big tub of the best ice cream ever.



When did we all forget how to do that?



My turns got longer as I got older, obviously. The last time we made ice cream, my father was 70, and I was 28. I did most of the cranking, he did most of the talking. I'm very glad I decided to do most of the listening that day. He was talking about this very subject; all the things that people used to know how to do, and have forgotten, or didn't think to pass along.



I was just talking to Samara, and we were trading recipes (yes, I can cook. Shut up.) and we realized just how many things our parents, grandparents, and great grandparents knew how to do that they just never passed on to us.



My grandmother makes the best pecan pies known to man. She's been making them for a large portion of her 92 years, and she's the expert. Grew the pecans on the ranch my grandfather built her, baked pies with her own fresh pecans.



I don't know the recipe. I can find out - and I intend to - but somehow that one just slipped by.



Samara's great grandmother used to make biscuits so good the kids would fight over the chance to lick the bowl when she was done. Of BISCUIT BATTER. And not one, not ONE, of her kids, grandkids, or great-grandkids, knows the recipe.



When the fuck did we decide that we didn't need to know this stuff?



And WHY?



I know one thing. Girl or boy, no matter what else I do right or wrong, no matter what mistakes I make, no matter what lessons I teach, even if I don't intend to, my child will goddamned well know how to make ice cream.



And they will learn the way I did. Sitting with their dad, in front of the garage, in the middle of the hottest part of summer, sipping on a soda and turning a hand crank for as long as it takes.



Because there are some things we ought not to forget how to do.

We're All Supposed To Know About Islam By Now!

So, a couple of days ago, a group of six imams returning from a convention boarded a U.S. Air flight to Phoenix. They sat in different sections of the plane, all apart from one another.



Suddenly, for no reason at all, air marshals boarded the plane, removed the imams, and detained them, asking them lots and lots of rude questions, and stuff. This is an offense against Islam, and blatant discrimination, blah, blah, blah.



Or, at least that was the reporting yesterday.



However, once the folks at the airport started coming forward about what actually happened, several witnesses said that the imams joined hands and started chanting in Arabic before boarding the flight.



The imams' response? "If up to now they don't know about prayers, this is a real problem," Omar Shahin, apparently the spokesman for the imams, told reporters yesterday.



Mkay, I hate to say this, but _I_ wouldn't react well to seeing a bunch of Arabs joining hands and chanting before boarding my flight, after 9/11 - and I DO know about daily prayers, and bowing to Mecca and all that.



But that notwithstanding, if that was the ONLY THING, I could understand the imams getting upset.



...But wait...



See, it turns out that they weren't just praying. They were also talking about how America is acting evil, and how Saddam should have been left alone. They're also - let's not forget this part that they didn't feel like sharing - supporters of organizations that raise funds for HAMAS.



They are supporters of terrorism.



THIS SPECIFIC GROUP of imams, has contributed to terrorist fundraising.



Funny how they forgot to mention that.



Suddenly, the whole overdramatic display in the airport seems clear; they did it on purpose, to try to make DHS look like anti-PC discrimination thugs.



Funny how CNN and the Star-Tribune missed that, isn't it?

ITP: I Discover That I Am An Intellectual Cripple And Should Be Ashamed.

I admit freely that I'm not the world's smartest man, but I do try to keep a relatively level head most of the time.



However, I have been pretty decisively outclassed, pretty much for good. And so have you.



A kid named Thiago Olson, of Rochester Hills, Michigan, pretty much pwned all of us. And now I feel like a dumbass.



You know the cliche: teenager goes out for the science fair, builds something cool in his garage out of spit and baling wire and the grudging support of his parents, who wish he would find a nice girlfriend. His "experiment," despite its humble origins, turns out to be world-changing in some dramatic way, and he wins admiration, the respect of his parents, and usually a fairly presentable girl along the way.



You've seen October Sky. Or if you haven't, you should; it's really a very good movie - and it's actually true.



So, it may be a cliche, but sometimes it's an accurate one.



This is one of those times.



But enough with the futzing around. This excellent example of Middle America built a working nuclear FUSION reactor in his garage. He is only the 18th person in the world outside a laboratory to ever have created a successful fusion process. Ever.



He is on the track team; plans to go to college; and eventually wants to work for the government.



I'd say that's a damn fine resume you have there, kid. Keep up the good work.

Because I Love To Share And Stuff...

...And because this is his best CD EVAR, I present to you the videos so far from Weird Al's newest release, Straight Outta Lynwood. Enjoy.

\r\nWhite And Nerdy
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\r\nPancreas
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\r\nI'll Sue Ya
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\r\nPolkarama!
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\r\n
\r\nVirus Alert
\r\n
\r\n
\r\nWeasel Stomping Day
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\r\nClose But No Cigar
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\r\nDon't Download This Song
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\r\nFor some reason JibJab.com's videos refuse to embed, so you'll have to click here for Do I Creep You Out? Sorry about that. Now, I wasn't able to find videos for Confessions Part 3 or Trapped In The Drive-thru, but otherwise that's the whole album.
\r\nGo buy it.

God Help Us All.

...They've remade Night of the Living Dead.



In 3-D.









The OMGWTFalarity knows no bounds.

Just Because I Wanted To Share...

...And because despite the obvious surplus of free time on the part of the video creator, this video is friggin' cool.

\r\n
\r\nSee?
\r\nNow aren't you glad Tara dredged this one up?

...And This Year's Ironic Cup Winner!!

You may remember my mentioning the Ironic Cup in the past.

It's my little way of rewarding those individuals who, for whatever reason, simply don't seem to understand the irony of their actions.

Like a civil rights lawyer getting slapped with a fine for manhandling the cameraman for a civil rights documentary.

Or maybe like Jacques Cousteau's son getting bitten by a shark, while filming a shark safety video.

But we have a winner for 2006.

And her name is Nancy Pelosi.


Nancy Pelosi is the Democratic House Minority Leader, and is expected to become Speaker of the House following the inauguration of the new Congress next year.

As a way to celebrate victory for her party, she decided to clean house. Errr, House.

What I mean to say is that she's proposed a new bill, the Honest Leadership And Open Government Act of 2006 ([H.R.4682 IH, as entered in the House, and S. 2180.IS, in the Senate.]) which is A. draconian as hell, B. not likely to pass, and C. a damn fine, and needed, piece of legislation.

You didn't expect me to say C, did you?

However, what this proposed law does is:

*Drastically limits lobbying, in any form (which is why it'll never pass;)
*Bans sitting members of Congress from receiving ANY gifts from lobbyists;
*Requires disclosure of lobbying efforts directed at members of Congress;
*Creates an Office of Public Integrity whose sole purpose is to root out financial shenanigans on the part of our elected officials;
*Requires that Congress actually be in session for at least 4 days a week for at least 20 weeks or it cannot adjourn for the year;
*Requires that a period of time be available from the time a bill is introduced until it is available for voting - to require the members to read it before voting;
*Requires that a bill passed by Congress cannot have riders attached to it after the vote is taken;
*Several regulations on campaign finance;
*and a ton of modifications to prevent horseshitting with government contracts.

AWESOME bill.

Here's why it wins the Ironic Cup, in three parts.

Part 1.

House Resolution 2564, also known as the Fox Amendment, was a bill to prohibit lobbyists from giving gifts to members of Congress or their employees. It failed, when it came up for a vote on November 28th, 1995.

Nancy Pelosi voted against it. You can click on the Democrats on the voting list at the link above, and scroll on down to "P" to see for yourself.

She's currently making a big deal about a law that should - sadly WON'T - pass, which she wrote herself, after previously voting against a bill to provide one of the very protections against abuse her bill propounds. Irony #1: check.

Part 2.

Nancy Pelosi's bill also regulates campaign finance, specifically to prevent Tom DeLay-style crookedry.

Here's the problem. In 2004, not one, but TWO, political action committees linked with Minority Leader Pelosi were caught breaking the same identical rules that Tom DeLay did. The FEC ruled that they had broken the law, and they were fined $21,000 for doing so.

So, now she's created a bill to outlaw specifically conduct of which she herself is guilty. Nice. Irony #2: check.

Part 3.

Since the bill regulates disclosure for campaign finance, let's look at Minority Leader Pelosi's finances, shall we? Hmmmm...

Well, of her top 20 campaign contributors, 17 are unions.

Considering she represents San Francisco, a liberal bastion if ever there was one, and has faced no serious Republican opposition candidate for election - ever, this makes sense. However, what makes me go "Hmmmm..." is this: of her total contributions not coming from individuals over the last few years, despite her authoring a bill requiring full disclosure for campaign finance, she's still unable to disclose the sources of $77,000 or so of her own campaign contributions.

Irony #3: check.

Representative Pelosi, for authoring a bill that punishes the very conduct of which you yourself are guilty, in not one, but two ways, and outlawing something you voted FOR earlier, you are in fact this year's Ironic Cup Winnar.

Congratulations!

Secretly, I hope your bill passes. It won't, but I hope it does. Of course, you might be in a bit of hot water yourself, then, hey?

Not-so-secretly, that'll be funny as hell.

The Amazing Bush-Clinton Comedy Tour!

So, Bill Clinton and George Bush Sr. are doing a globe-trotting tour to tell jokes!



Well, Bush is. Clinton claims he's condemned to forever be Bush's straight man.



HAHAHAHAHA.



In other news, ULTRAMAN turned 40 yesterday! If you don't know who Ultraman is, you probably don't care. But still.



I had actually intended to put my next blog post up on Blogspot, but they seem to be having some kind of persistent issue that won't let me post because there's no archive page for November.



This might be because THEY WON'T LET ME POST.



But you never know. Anyway, stay tuned.

*Insert Cool Election-Related Title Here*

...Or, better yet, don't.



Because we, as a nation, and a franchised electorate, failed.



We failed to utilise a profound opportunity to enact meaningful, fundamental change in our political system. And we are going to suffer for it.



Those of you who just couldn't WAIT for the Democrats to take office are probably going "WTF?"



I'll explain.



There are five political parties of any significance in this country. Not just the Republicans and Democrats we're all familiar with; there are also the Libertarians; the Reformers; and the Green party.



Those last three have thus far been successfully kept out of major political debates by the two major parties; they have been drowned out in a sea of two-party only funding; and they have been denied any major office.



I find it interesting that we can elect "independents," but not Libertarians or Reformers.



I personally disagree with just about everything the Green Party wants, and since I'm not one to take the route of "they might be wrong but they've gotta be better than..." I don't really like the idea of them getting elected to any office, anywhere.



But I am a registered Libertarian. And I am realizing that if ever I can find a job with some kind of stability, I am going to be donating a lot of my time and effort to their cause.



Because we, as an electorate, failed.



We elected "meet the new boss, same as the old boss."



Over the last three decades, both the Republicans AND the Democrats have proven, time and again, that they are unfit to hold public office, across the entire spectrum of both parties as they exist today.



I am prepared to believe that Republicans and Democrats who are NOT corrupt, grafting, pork-barrel-spending, often drunken, wastrel yahoos exist, somewhere.



None of whom have held public office, as far as I know.



The current membership of both parties as they exist in public office is a tapestry of idiocy, drunkenness, sexual perversity - which is all well and good as long as it's consenting adults and not in public office, but becomes a problem when it's kids and IN public office - bribe-taking, corruption, greed, shafting the constituents, ignoring the voters' issues, existing in office for purposes of pursuing re-election, and stealing the public blind.



So, we ousted one batch of crooks for a different batch of crooks. Woooo!



We ought to be profoundly delighted. After all, all those who say that voting for the Democrats is voting for terrorists are just plain wrong, aren't they?



Well, unless you ask Al-Qaeda. Al-Qaeda thinks it's fucking WONDERFUL that the Democrats won.



I wonder why that is.



I wonder why we are supposed to be happy with any electoral outcome that results in celebration among the ranks of OUR FUCKING ENEMY.



I wonder why we're supposed to think it's good, when nearly every country that's been bitching about our troops being in Iraq reverses course overnight and starts shrieking for us to stay longer - as soon as there's a hint in the wind that we might actually pull out, as opposed to giving it lip service.



I wonder why the Iraqis are fucking terrified.



I mean, after all, this is what they wanted, right? That's what the media's been telling us for nearly four years; the Iraqis can't WAIT for us to go home. That's why the Iraqis say things like, well, this:



"If it was up to the Democrats, we would still be living under Saddam's tyranny," Tariq said in an interview Wednesday in the Sadoun Street shopping district. "I'm afraid that this change is going to affect the American presence in Iraq. I don't want them to leave."

The Democrats are starting things off right,at least: They're going to subpoena everyone on the planet, as far as I can tell, except Iraqis and American military personnel, to testify as to why the Iraq war is fucked up.



Not that either of those exclusions might be important.



And the Democrats are so CLUED-IN, too. It's impressive. Right after Howard Dean, acting as DNC chairman, manages to engineer victory for the Democrats in both Houses of Congress, the rank-and-file want to get rid of him, because they don't want him to scream in public again. I'm just kidding; it's because they think he didn't help them win both Houses of Congress ENOUGH.



People have been asking me for three days what I think about the election.



I'll tell you.



What a clusterfuck.



I would put up a poll, but I can't think of anything that accurately expresses the pure, unadulterated OMGWTFalarity that this election displayed.



The New York Daily News could, though.



I've voted in quite a few elections. I've never seen both sides send lawyers to watch the polls.



Despite the Democrats winning, the election was rigged, anyway, they say.



Not that they're wrong; the Diebold voting machines required by the Help America Vote Act - authored and sponsored by Democrats after the 2000 and 2004 elections didn't go their way - feature software written by an embezzling computer hacker; one, in fact, who was convicted of 23 counts of felony Theft in the First Degree.



Not that the voters seemed to care; they just hate the Diebold machines. Some of us more than others. (In answer to several queries about this: THIS IS NOT ME. I'm not even 40 yet. Although it does sound suspiciously like me. Billbear? Was that you?)

What a fucking joke. A sad, sick, pathetic joke.



Hopefully for the next election we come to our senses. Maybe two years of Democratic corruption and stupidity will remind voters why they ousted the Dems in the first place. And maybe, just maybe, next time they'll elect someone who might make a difference. Someone we haven't tried before. Or maybe even the right folks for the job.



We sure as fuck didn't this time.

A Small Note Of Sanity Out Of This Election, Thanks... Arizona?!?

So, out of all the things that went wrong in this election, a few things happened that were good, sensible things.



Sadly, all of them seem to have been done in the same place: Arizona.



I know.



That's what I thought.



But Arizona apparently decided that if our leaders can't figure out illegal immigrants ARE ILLEGAL, the voters damn well could.



So they passed referenda. And these ones are NICE.



To sum up:



English is now the official language of Arizona.

Illegal immigrants are no longer allowed to receive punitive damages in court cases.

They are no longer eligible for bail in felony cases.

The new laws also prohibit illegal immigrants from receiving in-state tuition, financial assistance or access to state-subsidized childcare and family literacy programs. They will also require the Board of Education, community colleges, universities and the Department of Economic Security to report any illegal immigrants who try to apply for those programs.



And it's about damn time.



We've had this discussion; illegal immigration is one of my pet issues, largely because the proponents of illegal immigration are advocating breaking the laws of our nation.



Which same is referred to by the criminal code as "Aiding and abetting."



At any rate, passing laws restricting benefits of citizenship to citizens isn't "criminalizing" illegals; they're already criminal simply by virtue of the manner in which they chose to flagrantly disregard the laws of our nation and enter illegally.



I realize this isn't a sufficient after-election comment from me, but I'll get to it. Right now I'm dealing with the upcoming holiday rush, and I'm a bit frazzled.

Because It'll Be A Slow News Day Until 7 PM Or So...

I figure I will lighten your day a bit.



First: it's not weird if you, your girlfriend, and another couple are hanging out and they invite you back to their place. They might just want to mock DVDs over booze.



It becomes weird, if the other girl walks out butt naked and asks you to join them in a foursome.



It becomes bizarre in the extreme if your tiny monkey brain shorts out and makes you tell her the truth: "I don't fancy you."



It becomes OMGWTF, on a true and profound level, if she then beats the fuck out of you with a steam iron.



Whoa.



Plus, I'd just like to say one thing, ok?



I work for cheap. My job isn't that impressive, and I'm poor. But still, despite not getting enough sleep and always being tired, I manage to stay awake at work.



For the amount of money the NASA guys get paid, I'd imagine I could afford some fuckin' coffee.



Sadly, it seems they can't.



Fire them bastids. Hire me. If they're asleep on the job, I know I can do AT LEAST that well, and probably even better.



I'm just saying. And, I would be able to afford coffee.

The Election Starts In A Few Hours...

So, I have something to say.



I don't care which party you vote in. I don't care about your personal politics, your stance on issues, or your opinions.



But FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE,



IF YOU DON'T KNOW CURRENT EVENTS, AND ARE PLANNING ON CHECKING A "BY PARTY" VOTE, DON'T GO TO THE POLLS.



I know you're not supposed to say that, right? "Your vote counts!" But here's the problem. YOUR VOTE COUNTS. And every single vote cast with no knowledge of current events, no clear idea of the ballot issues, and no information other than "My daddy always voted..." COUNTS.



It counts, and it damages our society. If you can't be troubled to learn the issues - even if you don't agree with me on them - and you can't be bothered to keep up with current events - even if you don't agree with me on them - STAY HOME.



Now, more than ever, it is far less important to have EVARY SINGEL VOET!!1! than it is to have informed, knowledgeable voters. This election is more crucial to our forward direction than any other in recent memory, and as a nation we cannot afford to have it decided by people who seriously believe that it's OK to refuse any knowledge of world events or the state of our nation, and then go to the polls and vote for the new boss, same as the old boss.



Right now, our politicians, on both sides of the aisle, are lying through their teeth, about the issues, about each other, about their own voting records, anything they can get their hands on.



Ignore the ads on the radio. If that's your only political knowledge, going into this election, stay home.



If, on the other hand, you are well-informed, aware of the issues, and have a REASON to vote the way you're going to - even if it disagrees with mine - more power to you. Go check the box that appeals to you the most, and hope that the final outcome is actually better.



I doubt that it will be, because I doubt that very many people will take my advice.



But it's worth a try.

And One Last Word About John Kerry...

...from some football fans.

So there.

EVERYONE READ THIS!!!

You may have heard the hoopla in the last few days over the publication on the web, and subsequent removal, of documents teaching how, exactly, step-by-step, to build a nuclear bomb - by the U. S. Government.



You may not. It may have been overshadowed by the Kerry fiasco, or any number of other things that have popped up as minor October Surprises for the election.



I've got my own, and I'm gonna share it with you.



Bill, I've said repeatedly that Iraq had WMDs. I've posted links to eyewitness accounts detailing their removal to Syria before the invasion; I've posted links to documents, intelligence summaries, reports from Pentagon officials, reports confirming the validity of recovered documents, and statements by U. S. Senators stating that chemical WMDs, even if not nuclear, have been found. And of course, loads of "dot-com" postings, as you quaintly put it.



In fact, I've been saying it for a year and a half.



Your response, as I recall, was that since none of them had come from a reliable news source, they were suspect.



Fair enough.



How about the New York Times? You know, the ongoing vanguard of the "Bush lied! No WMDs!" crowd?



The web archive posted by the U. S. government, which has garnered so much notice and furor, was a collection of documents recovered in Iraq, indicating that Iraq had the plans; the know-how; the expertise; the ability; and the PLAN, to build a nuclear bomb for use against the United States.



I will admit that probably, posting the how-to-build-the-bomb part on a publically accessible website was not the best idea.



BUT EVEN THE FUCKING NEW YORK TIMES ADMITS THE DOCUMENTS ARE LEGITIMATE.



I will say it again. One last time. Since all of you seem determined to keep your heads in the sand, regardless of mounting evidence that the media has simply been lying to you this whole time, and the President was right all along.



IRAQ HAD THE ABILITY AND INTENT TO BUILD A NUCLEAR WEAPON FOR THE SPECIFIC PURPOSE OF ATTACKING THE UNITED STATES.



Bush was right.



There was an imminent threat.



The war in Iraq has been justified all along.



THERE WERE WMDs IN IRAQ.



Quit. Trying. To. Hide. From. It.



[*Edited to add many links. Better, Bill?*]

Let's Talk About Our Military.

...Because some people seem to have lost track - or never had it - of who they are and what they do.



The U. S. Armed Forces have a literacy rate of 100%. Not 97%, not 99%, 100%. If you cannot read, you are not eligible for service.



The U. S. Armed Forces are the most highly-educated military in the world.



-- 49.2 percent of officers have advanced or professional degrees; 39.4 percent have master's degrees, 8.5 percent have professional degrees and 1.3 percent have doctorate degrees.



-- 22.8 percent of company grade officers have advanced degrees; 16.5 percent have master's degrees, 5.9 percent have professional degrees and 0.3 percent have doctorate degrees.



-- 85.4 percent of field grade officers have advanced degrees; 70.7 percent have master's degrees, 12.1 percent have professional degrees and 2.5 percent have doctorate degrees.



-- 99.9 percent of the enlisted force have at least a high school education; 73.3 percent have some semester hours toward a college degree; 16.2 percent have an associate's degree or equivalent semester hours; 4.7 percent have a bachelor's degree; 0.7 percent have a master's degree and .01 percent have a professional or doctorate degree.



99.9 percent of the enlisted force - the "dumb grunts," are high school graduates. The same cannot be said of civilians. By comparison with the military, only 80% of the civilian population in the age group (18-24) that enlists graduate high school; that goes up to 86% if you go to the 25-34 age group, but by that time the military personnel who enlisted for the education benefits are in college.



Our military, unlike most of those in the rest of the world, is an all-volunteer force. That means that nobody gets forced to go; if you want to sit at home and bitch about the state of things without ever contributing, you can.



But yet an unending stream of our young men and women find within themselves a sense of duty, honor, and patriotism that says to them "Your country needs you." And they serve.



THESE are our true civil servants. Not the politicians from either group who claim repeatedly that they do so much for the public good; these kids, often still teenagers, who are willing to put their lives on the line to protect people that they mostly don't even know, are the greatest product and export of our country.



Lest there be any misunderstanding, anyone in the world can choose a different supplier for tobacco, cars, and computer software. The American G.I. is something that comes from only one place.



All too often, people see the media in other countries screaming about American "imperialism," and they believe it.



I would reply that no-one floats across hundreds of miles of shark-infested, hurricane prone water in a tire to go TO Cuba.



This country is the greatest place in the world. It's not perfect; but it's the best there is. And our military is why.



The people of Kurdistan are no longer being slaughtered. And our troops are why. South Korea still exists. And our troops are why. Haiti has not dissolved into civil war. And our troops are why. People can walk the streets in Albania and Bosnia now without being dragged off by secret police to be "ethnically cleansed," and our troops are why. Iraq has running water, power, schools, and hospitals, for the first time in years. And our troops are why.



And yet, according to A SENATOR, our troops are in Iraq because they are too stupid to hold a real job.



Oh, sure, after he got called on it he tried to claim that he was making a joke about the President. But what he really said was:

\r\nSo, let's be clear about this. Not only was that not funny; it was highly inappropriate, insulting, and frankly, as a veteran, offends the living shit out of me.
\r\n
\r\nFor the record, Mr. Kerry, the President you're attempting to joke about had better grades in college than you did. You both went to Yale. Hmmmmm. Interestingly enough, I outscored both of them on the SAT, with a 1350. I'm not a genius, but clearly if its testing you want, I can smoke our elected leadership. My brother REALLY made them look bad, with a 1490. Maybe we ought to elect my brother, since some people clearly think being smart automatically = good governance.
\r\n
\r\nFor the record, Mr. Kerry, only 12% of the military consists of what they term "Category 4" recruits; that's (simplifying slightly, the AFQT does not EXACTLY translate into IQ) basically folks with less-than-100 IQ. NONE of them are Category 5 - 87 or below - they are, and have always been, ineligible for military service. There's no such thing anymore as a stupid soldier.
\r\n
\r\nFor the record, Mr. Kerry, our troops don't think you're funny either.
\r\n
\r\n
\r\n And for the record, Mr. Kerry, here's my opinion of you, your insulting remarks, your falsified war record, your moral cowardice in the face of the enemy, and hopefully, your chances of getting re-elected.
\r\n
\r\n.,|,, (-_-) ,,|,.