Politics, ranting, you name it, I do a bit of it. Even cooking.
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Internet Go Bye Bye |
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A Very Great Loss... |
This is a bit of personal history, and as such, those of you only interested in angry ranting or political blather might not be interested.
Back in the day, I went to a very, very poor school, in a very poor part of Houston, Texas.
I was in a program called "Vanguard," which was a prototype of what became the "Magnet schools" program.
...Really, it was a way for the school system of the city to "fix" low test scores for poor schools - this was racist as hell, but true - by placing gifted and talented programs, with high-scoring smart white kids, in the worst ghetto schools they could, so that the white kids would bring up the schools' average test scores and they wouldn't lose funding.
That doesn't mean that the faculty was bad; just that they were used as cynically as possible by the school board.
In fact, one of the faculty members was, in my opinion, a GREAT teacher. Not a "good" teacher, a great one.
This particular gentleman was toweringly tall - 6'5" or 6" - and had a huge, booming voice, with which he corralled students into his class quickly and efficiently, and controlled the mess that always happens in the hallways in public schools at break times.
Now, the Vanguard program had block scheduling before it was cool; we had, basically, three classes a day, plus "homeroom."
Which meant that the World History teacher - subject of our discussion - had his students for two hours, every other day.
His class was simple in structure; at the beginning of each class, there was a quiz on the lecture from the previous class, followed by a lecture.
That was it. We almost never had any homework whatsoever from that class; in fact, the only homework I recall receiving from it was "it would behoove you to read these pages in the textbook, as they might be on the quiz, too." Repetitio est mater estudiorum - repetition is the mother of learning. Boy, did we hear that a lot. But it's true; if you need to teach history, make sure they know the names and dates; then tell them what it MEANS.
But unlike all the many, many classes that rely on homework to drive students absolutely insane yet fail utterly to teach them anything that they retain long-term, that World History class made an impression.
I know the origin of the word "sincere." (Cera in Italian is wax. Of the two grades of commercially available marble during the Middle Ages, the more affordable one would frequently crack; before selling a sculpture, many sculptors would cover the cracks with wax, to hide the cracks, and thus the grade of the marble, from the prospective buyers, who presumably would then be dismayed when, after a bit of sun, the wax melted away. "Sincere" evolved from "Sin cera," meaning without wax - and thus honest.)
I know how to make bronze castings using the "lost wax" method. (Sculpt something in wax. Cover it with wet clay, completely. let the clay dry, then fire it. The wax melts - sincerely - leaving behind a hollow ceramic mold into which molten bronze can be poured, creating a perfectly cast item.)
I know the three world-changing events that happened in the year 1453. (Moveable type - thanks, Gutenberg - the fall of the Byzantine Empire to the Ottoman Turks, thus ending Rome's power, and the end of the Hundred Years War when the French defeated the English at Castillon.)
I know those things, because that teacher gave us endlessly fascinating lectures, telling stories, really, to the class; stories explaining not only the names and dates, but why we should care about them, or at least find them interesting.
He was awe-inspiring. I remember once there was a kid in the back row of the class, who snuck in a snack of some kind, I think some peanuts. He went to fish out a peanut while the teacher was at the board, writing notes, and without turning or even looking around, the teacher waited until he was chewing and bellowed "I hope you choke!" We all thought that was really funny, except the sneaky snacker, who nearly did.
He inspired me.
That's the easiest way to put it.
When I post a blog, you may or may not agree with my conclusions, but I almost always arrive with a huge amount of research at my disposal, because, said he, "research is cheap. Being wrong can cost everything."
He most likely would have disliked a lot of my political stances, but I use things he taught me, daily.
Mr. Wayne C. Martin passed away on October 27th.
I never wrote him; never saw him, after I graduated high school, and haven't given him a thought in years.
But knowing that he's not there, not terrorizing platoons of teenagers into actually learning something useful...
...That's a tragic loss.
I am certain he has gone on to something better, but that notwithstanding, his loss is keenly felt indeed by myself, and I feel sure hundreds if not thousands of students that passed through his classrooms over the years and found inside a chance to see that school doesn't HAVE to be boring, or useless, in any way.
Mr. Martin, you will be sorely missed, indeed.
And I suppose that no greater tribute can really be given to a teacher, than to know that his students remember the things he taught.
I hope he knows that I do.
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Rocky Shoals Ahead! (Seriously, Not For The Faint Of Heart...) |
I am going to talk about a phenomenon which is far more common than reported, very serious (and painful for those who've experienced it,) and horribly deleterious in its effects on its victims, and explore the causes of it.
This is an issue that literally COULD NOT be more sensitive or touchy.
Now I grant that I am not normally given to sensitive language, but for this article I promise you - the reader - that I will do my level best. In exchange, I ask you to hear me out to my conclusion(s) before lighting the torches and stirring the pitch, ok? The side effect of this is that this post might at first seem rambling, as there are many threads to bring together here, and it must be done carefully. I will do my best to be sufficient to the task.
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BEYOND THIS POINT ALL BETS ARE OFF!! AND THERE IS SEX STUFF!! SO IF YOU'RE TOO PRUDISH TO BE COMFORTABLE, NOW IS THE TIME TO WANDER OFF!!!
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Rape, as a crime, is generally considered to be horrible.
But the effects on the victims are more horrifying by far than the degree apparently warranted by the feeling about rape, as a crime.
This is because there is an issue that almost never gets talked about, even in the most clinical surroundings, even with therapists, rape counselors, and psychiatrists.
Back up some.
In my private life, which I by and large try not to allow to bleed through into this site, despite many of my friends pestering me to write more personal things, I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, "normal."
I prefer a lifestyle that many of you - perhaps even most of you - would think of as perverse, simply by reading the words associated with it, without any real knowledge of what happens, what it means, or how it works.
But that very lifestyle gives me a window into things that 'nillas almost certainly wouldn't even think about.
For example...
Did you know that rape fantasies are in the top ten fantasies women admit to on polls?
There's a reason for this; I will get to it, I promise.
Top ten.
The thing is, even the people who do the studies on these kinds of things think that that's a significant under-reporting of that particular fantasy (1,2) because women tend to feel ashamed that they think of it, as though thinking of it in a fantasy context is somehow equivalent to approving of the actual act, which is clearly and obviously not true.
So, ok. Even at the under-reported rate, scientists estimate that as many as 17% of women have rape as their most persistent and recurring fantasy; that percentage could in reality be far higher.
We will come back to this.
The second consideration here is also psychological. Females - whether or not they are aware of it - as a group, are overwhelmingly sexual submissives. The degree to which this manifests itself is highly individual, and there are certainly women who are not, but they are far and away in the minority. Part of the perception of this is thanks to the almost ludicrously ham-handed way mainstream society treats the D/s lifestyle; many people who could be quite happy with some form of dominance and submission in their bedroom are no doubt turned off of the very idea by the public perception of it. (3, 4.)
I'm quite certain many of you reading this are now thinking, "Well, that might be true, but it's not true for ME, I mean, I'm not like that AT ALL."
So.
Have you ever dreamed about being swept off your feet by a lover who knows exactly what you need and can do it without asking?
Or about having your lover take charge, and guide your experience?
Or about being cared for - in ANY sense - in ways that you could do, but your lover has chosen to do to spare you the effort?
Do you like it when a man follows the older rules of courtesy - you know, opening doors, pulling out chairs, that sort of thing?
Maybe, for you, it is a turn-on when your lover physically lifts you off the ground; holds your wrists while you have sex; blindfolds you.
ALL of these things, if true, are displays on your part of some degree of sexual submissiveness.
The most important point of that little side note is: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. (5.)
But it's true; most females, whether it's genetic design or cultural training (and I refuse to speculate as to which it might be; it's not germane to the issue here,) express some degree of sexual submissiveness in their preferences.
Like it or not, the idea of SOME degree - major or minor - of helplessness during sex and sexual relationships is appealing, even arousing, to most women.
We will come back to this, as well.
The third consideration here is strictly physiological; studies show that females can become genitally aroused regardless of their mental state. (6.)
The human body is designed to respond to certain kinds of physical stimuli, regardless of attitude, regardless of emotional state, regardless of whether or not it is desired. This is true of both men and women; it applies for this discussion more for women than men, simply because it is physically speaking more difficult for the average woman to overpower the average man than the reverse. (Still possible, though.)
The fourth consideration is what ties the preceding three together.
It is a phenomenon known as habituation.
Hypnotists are very familiar with it, since it is the foundation of a lot of their efforts.
Any experience, repeated, becomes habitual. A good example of this is displayed in smoking; if you repeatedly smoke after a meal, you will quickly find yourself wanting a cigarette after each meal. Not only have you taught your brain to associate the act of smoking with the conclusion of a meal, but that habit has been reinforced by pleasure; (7, 8) smoking feels good (unless you're doing it horribly wrong, anyway,) and so each time you smoke after a meal, you not only reinforce the habit directly, you also give your brain a little shot of "this feels good," which ALSO gets anchored to the connection between cigarettes and the end of a meal.
Pleasure - of any type - hugely amplifies the human brain's habituating tendency; it's perfectly natural - even designed - for humans to seek out that which feels good, and steer clear of that which doesn't. Using this phenomenon in the context of creating a habit causes the habit itself to become, in the brain - the physical brain, not just the mind - contiguous and associated with the feelings of pleasure themselves, thus making the habit itself vastly more desirable in the hierarchy of your brain's maintenance schedule.
In fact, past a certain point, your brain will begin to maintain those connections, those habits and feelings, all by itself, without further input from you; this is what a "habit" is, in fact. It is a behavior pattern that has been so significantly reinforced and prioritized in your brain that it occurs without your conscious awareness of it.
How does that apply to rape?
A huge proportion of women - even if you believe the underreported figure - fantasize about rape.
Typically, even though they don't like to talk about it, they masturbate while so fantasizing.
What this means is that their brains gradually become conditioned to consider rape - or at least the fantasy - inherently arousing; the fantasy itself becomes associated with feelings of arousal, and orgasm.
Orgasm being the most powerful pleasure humans are designed to feel, this is a habituating force of almost terrifying potency; it cements that fantasy near-ineradicably as a part of the individual's arousal pattern, and gets stronger every single time they reach orgasm while thinking about it.
Combine this with the fact that the human body can become aroused regardless of mental state.
So.
A woman - fine, upstanding pillar of the community, married, two kids, happy home, satisfied sex life - is out for a walk.
She may not consciously be aware of any submissive tendencies at all, but even though she'd never say it, she fantasizes about rape fairly often when she needs more attention than she's getting.
Suddenly, she is grabbed, physically. Threatened. Touched.
On her conscious, emotional level, she is terrified; horrified; repulsed and disgusted.
On her subconscious level, this is exactly what her brain associates to some degree with sexual arousal.
She feels helpless; overpowered; out of control; all things her brain associates on some level with sexual arousal.
When she is touched, her body responds to some degree, regardless of her emotional state.
...And her subconscious considers that the go-ahead.
Very few rape victims report that they reach orgasm during the act of rape, but the percentage is there. A much greater percentage admit to being aroused to some degree during it. (9,10.)
If a woman is unwilling to admit that she FANTASIZES about rape, how much more unwilling will she be to admit that she reached orgasm during an ACTUAL rape?
The percentages are, again, underreported.
So.
That woman, having survived her attack, goes home.
And not only feels betrayed by her body, but feels guilty - as though the fact that she reached orgasm was a betrayal of her husband, boyfriend, lover, in some way.
She will forever associate the rapist with the rape; this makes it incredibly difficult for her to engage in normal sexual activity afterwards, as she will have her memories of the rape itself - and the associated guilt - forcibly presented to her anytime she becomes aroused from then on; the percentage of women showing significant sexual dysfunction even years after an assault is virtually 100%. In cases in which the victim experienced arousal or orgasm during the assault, these effects are far more pronounced. (11,12.)
The important thing - if any of you reading this have experienced this phenomenon - is that it is NOT YOUR FAULT. Biologically, physiologically, there was nothing you could do to prevent experiencing those feelings.
They are not a betrayal, or a failure, on your part.
What they are is a response you had no control over, to something inflicted upon you that you had no control over.
I can't begin to guess how you must feel, and would never claim that ability.
But if this has happened to you, I can say that you will heal more quickly and more completely by confronting it than any amount of shame and prudishness will ever accomplish.
References:
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Mango Chicken Stir-Fry |
OK, this recipe is going to seem a bit weird, because of circumstance.
I will explain.
I made this stuff fresh, and everyone that tried it thought it was great.
But there was some left, which went in the fridge. And two days later, when I pulled it out...
...It was even better. Having had the time for all the flavors to soak in, it was much more flavorful than it was when fresh.
So, my recommendation when - if - you try this is to prepare it, then put it in the fridge overnight and then reheat it the next day. Weird, I know, but trust me on this.
So, here we go.
You will need:
-Fresh mixed vegetables (broccoli florets, cauliflower, asparagus spears, carrots, zucchini, summer squash.) Frozen veggies will work, but they will also add a lot of water to the sauce and you don't want that; besides, fresh cooks better anyway.
- 1 1/2 STICKS of butter. I know this is a lot, but trust me, it's worth it. If you prefer, you can use 1 stick butter and two teaspoons of lard, but I liked it fine with butter.
-4 ounces of concentrated lemon juice. One of those plastic lemon things will work fine; it's what I used.
-Maaaaaybe two teaspoons of lime juice.
-Ground ginger. I'm not going to be specific, because you're using it to taste; but I used I think 2 teaspoons.
-Honey.
-Chicken. I used boneless chicken breasts cut into thin strips; it fries easily that way.
-One fresh, ripe mango.
Before you begin the sauce, chop the vegetables into pieces as fine as you like; cut up the chicken. Take the mango, peel it, and cut the meat away from the seed. Once this is done, dice the mango pieces fairly small; not larger than the tip of your pinky finger. (You want the juices to soak in.)
Start the sauce by melting one whole stick of butter in a saucepan. Once the butter is melted, add the lemon and lime juices and the mango pieces. Once that's simmering, add honey and ginger until the sauce is as tart as you prefer; err on the side of tartness, though, because the mango will sweeten it a good deal once it cooks in.
Once the sauce is taste-ready and simmering, put the remaining butter (or lard,) in your wok and fry the chicken until it is mostly cooked; once the chicken is almost cooked through, add the mango sauce and the fresh vegetables, and stir until the vegetables are cooked to your satisfaction.
Remove it from heat. You can eat it fresh, but again, my recommendation would be to store it in the fridge overnight and let the flavors really blend; the mango comes out a lot more strongly if you give it some time to soak in.
Hope you guys like it as much as I did!
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Every Once In A Great While... |
...One corporation gets to make the oldest gesture of contempt ever known to man, the digit impudicus, if you will.
...So, today, Verizon just flipped AT&T a big ol' bird.
See, Verizon came up with this clever little ad where they show THEIR cell phone coverage, versus that of AT&T.
AT&T didn't think that was too great, though, because it makes them look like the trailer park cousin with bad teeth.
And weird hair from the early 80's.
So they sued Verizon, in an attempt to convince a judge that Verizon's coverage maps, despite being accurate and pulled from AT&T's own coverage maps section, are inaccurate.
Good luck with that.
Verizon, of course, had to say something back.
And here is what they said:
(App installation requires unknown sources.)
