And Let Me Just Say...

...that nobody, but NOBODY, can get arrested for attempted sexual assault of a farm animal without me knowing about it...and mocking it ruthlessly.



Leroy Johnson, a Deputy Chief with the Mesa, Arizona Fire Department, was caught stinking drunk in a local barn after the owner's children saw Johnson dragging a lamb into the barn. When the owner confronted him, Johnson said - wait for it - "You caught me Alan, I tried to fuck your sheep."



Wow.

Maybe next time he should wait until the sheep is above the age of consent, then MAYBE it won't kick up such a RUCKUS.

It also helps if you try to avoid letting little kids SEE YOU DO IT.



Drunks are so much fun, aren't they?