Ok, Since You Guys Like The Food...

...I'm gonna dispel a myth apparently prevalent in the North, and give you guys a couple of delicious and simple recipes in one fell swoop. How's that sound?

HEY NORTHERN PEOPLE!

A "quesadilla" is Mexican - or more properly Tex-Mex - food. If you make it with ANYTHING ITALIAN YOU ARE FUCKING IT UP.

I never would have credited it myself, except once we went to a restaurant near here and saw "Quesadillas" on the menu, and I, longing for a taste of home, made the mistake of ordering them. I guess I forgot that Northerners cannot comprehend Southern food, just like Southerners cannot comprehend Northern food.

Take it from me: quesadillas do not include provolone cheese, and are not dipped in marinara sauce. HORRIFYING.

So, here's how to do it properly.

Get yourself a big ol' flat frying pan, and a VERY SMALL bit of oil, or some cooking spray.

For quesadillas, if you decide to go the "meaty" route, get either some shredded roast chicken, or some lightly browned ground beef, or I guess whatever else you want, but those two work well in my experience.

If not, all you need is white flour tortillas (they're easier to do this with. Corn is classic, but a pain in the ass, IMO.) and cheese; the cheese you use is up to you, but for authenticity, it ought to be a blend of Monterey Jack, asadero, and maybe some Oaxaca cheese.

You can add grilled onions, or chorizo sausage, as well; my personal favorite combination is the beef, grilled onions, with asadero and Monterey Jack cheeses.

Now, the classic way to create a quesadilla is very simple; spray down your frying pan with the cooking spray, and lay the tortilla in the pan. After it gets warm enough to be a bit soft, cover half of it with the cheese blend and the meat, if you chose to add it. You can also toss in some salsa, but I find that unnecessary, because of the second recipe.

Anyway, fold over the uncovered half of the tortilla, to make a sort of tortilla omelette; after the cheese melts enough to stick the two sides together pretty well, flip it over and let it crisp up a bit on the other side.

That's it! Quesadillas are a dead snap to make in the evening when you're tired, and boy, they sure are tasty, especially when you combine them with some sour cream - despite Tara's total and abject hatred of any sour dairy products - and some guacamole.

...And that would be our second recipe!

See, up North, guacamole is relatively unknown, unlike in East Texas, where it's a side dish at practically every meal. I got up here and was simply aghast at the total lack of anything approaching fresh guacamole; hell, I REFUSE to settle for frozen; I'd lose all my Texas points, and have to buy a new hat.

Besides, frozen guacamole is nasty.

Fresh guacamole, however, is delicious, and you deserve to know my spin on it, because good food should be shared.

So:

Begin with several - maybe 5 - good-sized Haas avocados. You can tell they're good when they're firm, and not mushy.
While you're in the produce section, grab a yellow onion; a good-sized tomato (I personally prefer the vine-ripened hothouse ones, but they're smaller. If you get those, use two,) two good limes, some cilantro, and if you like, some hot peppers. For guacamole you want spicy without heat; it's supposed to be a garnish, rather than a taste blanket, besides which, you don't want to overpower the avocados. I prefer ancho chilis - the dried poblano - because they're just hot enough to say "Hi!" without burning up food wimps like Tara, and they add a bit of bite to the guacamole without overpowering it.

When you get ready to make your guacamole, you'll need a pretty good-sized bowl; all this yumminess adds up pretty quickly.

Chop about 3/4 of a cup of cilantro, and the onion, and the tomato; also the peppers if you're using them. If you're using fresh garlic, you can mince it all together with the other ingredients in the food processor; if you buy the bottled minced garlic, you can just get a couple of tablespoons ready.

Slice each avocado in half length-wise, running around the pit, then separate the halves and discard all but one of the pits. Using a flat spoon, separate the meat from the rind of the avocados. (This is easier than it sounds; I promise, I'm not offering you an elephant soup recipe. (Old joke. "First, dice one elephant..."))

Once you have the meat from all the avocados in the bowl, mash it up with a fork - or run it through the food processor if you have some kind of moral prohibition against food with lumps - and add the juice from the limes. This is one of two things that will help keep the avocado meat from oxidizing and turning brown. (The brown doesn't make it inedible; it just makes it LOOK nasty. But still.)

Once the lime juice has been mixed thoroughly with the avocado, add the other ingredients, and a bit of salt.

Stir all this together until it's well blended.

...aaaand you're done!

Guacamole can be used as a dip for tortilla chips, as a garnish for basically anything, and serves as a great way to add even more flavor to your quesadillas.

...Oh, yeah, the browning... When you're storing guacamole, leave the remaining avocado pit inside the bowl, and keep the bowl covered and refrigerated. The pit will help slow browning as well.

Guacamole, while easy and fast to make, is one of those dishes that Northerners just don't seem to get right, sort of like a Southerner trying to make a Philly cheesesteak sandwich. Yeah, right.

They don't even sell the ingredients for a proper cheesesteak in the South. But you can read about them online!

...At any rate, enjoy! I will be adding more recipes from time to time, and anyone who has a really good one can certainly send it to me; I will post it after I make it. (This is so I can give an honest assessment of how hard it is to get right. Some recipes are easier than others, hmmm?)