Fine, Damn, I'll Do Your Stinkin' Survey...

...since I've been tagged twice for it.



Ok, let's see.



1)  Where were you 1 hour ago? Trying to survive the OMGWTF that is inventory.



2)  Who will be your next kiss? Tara is making smoochy lips at me right now. I'm guessing that's a hint.



3)  Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes. I have a wife, you know. She has girly things.



4)  When is the last time you went to the mall? WTF is this "mall" of which you speak?



5)  Are you wearing socks right now? Yes, long grey ones that seemed like a great idea in my combat boots but suck in my hikers. OMGWTF@ my huge, immovable ankle roll.



6)  When was the last time you went out of town? Define "out of town." Around here, that's a five minute drive.



7)  Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? "Been to?" HELL no. "Had a momentary urge to violate international copyright law?" I'm not saying.



8)  What was the last thing you had to drink? Water. I'm too sick right now to chance anything else.



9)  What are you wearing right now? A t-shirt and jeans. I am dead sexy, boy.



10)  Have you been in a car wash? Somehow I read this question differently than Sheila did. *pictures her in a bikini covered with soap.* *Pictures himself in a bikini covered with soap.* GOOD GOD NO.



11)  Last food you ate? PIZZA!!! And it was pretty damn good, too - I've finally got the pizza shop properly trained to manufacture a pizza the way I like it.



12)  Where were you last week on Saturday? I AM ALWAYS AT WORK.



13)  Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? There are places where clothing is sold?



14)  When was the last time you ran? I don't "run." I either charge, or chase. There is no third way.



15)  What's the last sporting event you watched?  I dunno, but I listened to the Saints pwning the Niners with violence and hatred last night. I thought, "poor Sheila. But wait, I hate both those teams. HAHA!"



16)  What is your favorite class? I have no class.



17)  Your dream vacation? OKTOBERFEST IN GERMANY. Bring on the brew.



18)  Last 3 people's houses you were in? Ummmmm... Tara's sister's, Tara's grandma's, and errrrrr.... I don't get out much. Ask me this again on Saturday.



19)  How old are your parents? My mother is old enough that she doesn't want to admit it and still passes for 45. My father died last year, at 72.



20)  Do you miss anyone? Yeah. I miss my father - who is pretty much irretrievable - and my brother, who thankfully isn't. HEY JON!! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE FOR A VISIT BIOTCH!!



21)  Last play you saw? Die Fledermaus. Definitely brings the LOL.



22)  What are your plans for today? I am going to produce as much OMGWTF as I possibly can, then sleep like the dead. Until my phone rings at 3 am.



23)  Who is the last person that commented on your page? Sheila! (In quick comments. Renee hit my blog last.)



24)  Ever go to camp? OMGWTF@ Paesano Baptist Encampment for the win!



25)  Were you an honor roll student in school? When I wasn't stoned, yes. Believe it or not, I actually was.



26)  What do you want to know about the future? I had a really good idea that Tara started yakking right through and erased completely from my consciousness. So, you are deprived of my wit and wisdom of this one. Everybody, on three, one, two, three, "THANKS TARA!!!" (Yes, she stuck her tongue out at me for that. I am considering it an invitation to be taken advantage of at a later but as yet unspecified time.)



27)  Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?  Brut aftershave. Later probably Drakkar, though.



28)  Where is your best friend located? Aside from Tara, who is the titleholder,  California. You know who you are.



29)  Do you have a tan? I have the pasty complexion of every gamer who's ever lived. And freckles. Go figure.



30)  How old do you want to be when you have kids? Somehow, I'm counting on "31" being a big winner here.



31)  Do you collect anything? Do video games and books count? I have huge quantities of both.



32)  Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over? Got hit by a swoop and scoot while driving a cab, that was the last time I was actually even really spoken to by a big-city cop. Our one cop says "Hi!" and waves when he passes, though, so if that counts, about a week ago.



33)  Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? Why in the hell would I want to do that?



34)  How do you like your drinks? Loaded with alcohol.



35)  Do you like hot sauce? HAHAHAHAHAHA. I peel fresh habaneros and eat them raw. Hot sauce is my bitch.



36)  Last time you took a shower? About nine hours ago.



37)  Who do you have a crush on?  I have no crush. My wife is my one true love.



38)  What is your mood? "OMGWTFLOLZ!!"



39)  Are you someones best friend? Anyone who counts me as a friend. There must be at least three of you by now.



40)  Are you rich? OMGWTF WE AER TEH BROEK!!1! LOLZ1! But, I have massive genitalia, so that makes up for it.



SO OK THEN ARE YOU SATISFIED CHRIS AND SHEILA?!?! I DID YER STEENKENG SURVEY!!!