The News Very Few Of You Have Been Waiting For Can Be Found HERE!!1!

You guys have been pestering me for months to know if our baby is a girl or boy.

FINALLY, we got to a doc with a cool enough ultrasound that we could see the relevant bits.

Now, mind you, it wasn't one of the super-pimp 3-D resonance imagers that we were hoping they'd give us, but it was clear enough.

So, without further ado,

So, there's our baby again, a bit clearer. Hope that helps ya.

The drive down was interesting. I seem to be cursed with physical ailments when we go to the baby doctor - last time a migraine, this time a toothache - but we were still all excited.

120 mile round trip to Hershey, and we got there just in time, only to find that half the parking lot was under construction, and thus I had to circle the lot for 15 minutes while Tara went inside to find the ultrasound lab.

After much circling, I finally took the expedient of tailing a business-suited man to his car, creeping along behind him in my huge-ass old Dodge until he got there, and waving to him as he drove off.

I didn't want them to start without me, so I bolted in and asked the helpdesk where the fetal ultrasound lab was. They told me to go down a hall and take an elevator to "ground floor," which was weird since I didn't recall going up any fuckin steps on the way in, but I did. I got to the helpdesk there, and the skinny blonde behind the desk told me "we don't do fetal ultrasound scans here."



I pointed at the SIGN on the FUCKING WALL saying FETAL ULTRASOUND and said "So, then, what exactly does THAT mean?"
She says, "I don't know but we don't do that here. I think it's in a different building."




I roar up to the FRONT helpdesk, and ask where they sent my wife. "You know, six-foot redhead, can't possibly miss her? She kinda stands out in a crowd."




They tell me she went to the REAL ultrasound lab on the third floor, as opposed to the "ground" floor underground. I go there, but on my way, there's Tara, who informs me that they don't do ultrasounds there and it's in a different building.




W.

T.

F.





Soooo, out we rush to the parking lot, NOW WE ARE LATE OMG, jump in the car, and roar down the road to the next building. UNLIKE THE HOSPITAL, the ultrasound clinic has plentiful parking. We go in, and have to stop and stand in line at each of two different places waiting to be told we're in the wrong place, before getting to the right place, where they tell us they are backed up anyway so there's no rush.




W.

T.

F.





In we finally go, and Tara lies down and gets squirted with green slime. The baby gets on camera and points everything but the right parts at the camera.
The ultrasound tech's first comment was "Your baby's stubborn."
We both said "That makes sense."
She says, "Well, I can't really tell from this angle,"
I lean over to Tara's belly and say "Turn over, foo!"
The baby turns over.
That's when we started getting good pictures. Looked at the face, the chest, the belly, the arms and legs, and then we needed the baby to move again - but more substantially - to get a look at the plumbing.
Tara gets up and walks around a bit, then lies back down.
This time the baby is perfectly oriented, and the tech says "You guys want to know gender?"
*Thinks*
*NODSNODSNODSNODSNODS*

NOW you're frustrated. Aren't you. It's ok to admit it.




Because you've been waiting soooo long and so not patiently, we will soon be welcoming James Mack to our little family.




Proving that he is in fact MY son, beyond any shadow of a doubt, have a look at the second photo we got as a keeper:



Yes, that's his hand.
Yes, he's giving us the finger.

That's my boy. How very, very proud I am.