I am really, really far outside mine.
I feel trapped, like this empty room, and the empty room I'm going to in a few hours, is the only thing I can look forward to.
I work, go to my room and stare at the wall, then go back to work. I feel like a toy played with only a few hours a day.
The less human contact I have, the more difficult it is for me to fake normalcy in any way that's remotely convincing. I ask that you both please bear with me, and have patience - granted that you have already extended me far more patience than I could possibly deserve from you or anyone - I am doing the absolute best I can to continue to function as close to normally as I can.
I am having a great deal of difficulty maintaining my center - things seem to keep sliding one way or another and it's making my emotional balance lurch aimlessly in all directions, for which I apologize.
I am trying to do better, it's just not actually working.
This will not be forever; sooner or later this time will be done and I will be able to return to some kind of functionality that is passably close to normal. I understand completely if you would be more comfortable avoiding me until this is so, but i would ask that if you choose to do so, you would let me know, so I know not to bother you until I am at least partially rational again.
Again, I apologize profusely for my difficulties and am trying to work through them as best I can.
I love you both.
