The Update, And An Itinerary, And Goodbyes For A Week (ZOMG!)

So.

After thoroughly annoying my line leader with my abrupt doctor's appointment of unknown beforehand duration, I got permission and bailed on work at the first break, off to the hospital AGAIN.

After filling out paperwork asking questions you would have THOUGHT they might like the answers to BEFORE the sleep study (but you'd be mistaken,) they let me actually talk to the doctor, who examined me - this consisted of a tongue depressor and "say ah...oh, I see."

Right.

Apparently, the primary cause of my almost deadly - and they were, for a change, not fucking around with me, either; they showed me the graph showing my "episodes" per hour, aka "flatlining," but more on this in a minute - sleep apnea is... drumroll, please... I have large tonsils.

What?

Right. Apparently, since I still come with all my original factory equipment plus a couple of aftermarket bolt-on armor packs, my airway is obstructed while I'm sleeping, because I need to have my tonsils removed.

The graph of my "episodes" (read: "flatlining") was interesting. Apparently I spent more time dead than alive Sunday night, which is why the tech was so twitchy; I had 85 episodes... IN THE FIRST HOUR. It's supposed to be a single black line when that happens; my graph was A SOLID FUCKING BAR after midnight. Yay! No wonder I've been feeling like a zombie; they're apparently planning a sequel to "The Serpent And The Rainbow" based on my last four months.

So, after the doctor's highly agitated phone call to the equipment dealer, I got a very nice new Bi-PAP (Bi-pressurizing Positive Airway Pressure) machine. And a lecture about cleaning the humidifier tank EVERY SINGLE DAY OR YOU WILL ASPLODE ZOMGWTF!!11

...At any rate. So, I got my black box, and theoretically should be fine.

So, tomorrow, we are officially on vacation, for the very first time ever that we have paid vacation. (Vacation, as opposed to "leave.") Woohooo! A whole week, spent mostly... traveling.

Let me explain.

We're flying to and from Texas. Due to the vicissitudes of hub-to-hub air travel, we're driving to Baltimore in the morning, flying to Nashville, changing planes, then flying to Midland, Texas, there to meet up with my mother, and have dinner with my uncle Jimmy and aunt Sharon. Then - tomorrow night - driving the other 3 hours to Marfa, where we're going to spend the next two days seeing the family ranch, watching the mysterious and spooky Marfa Lights (I've seen them and they are in fact highly disturbing,) and generally hanging out with my 92-year-old grandmother, who has been pestering me about red-headed great-grandbabies since the first time she met my wife.

Monday, we're driving to San Antonio, where we're going to have two meals - one with my mother's cousin Buzz and his wife (I didn't name him, dude, so stop looking at me like that) and then my cousin Lloyd and wife #2, Janice, who I'm sure is nice but I've never seen in my life so THAT should be interesting based on past experience with people meeting me for the first time. We're not leaving San Antonio until afternoon Tuesday, because we're gonna go hang out at the Alamo, and watch the really bitchin' IMAX movie "Alamo: The Price Of Freedom," which is ONLY shown in the Riverwalk Mall in SA.

Tuesday night, once we get to Houston, we're most likely going to sleep.

Wednesday and Thursday, we're going to try to cram in as muich visiting with my brother and his wife and kids as we can, along with squeezing in time for Tara and the boy and I to go to the Houston Museum of Natural Science and History, and hopefully the Houston Museum of Fine Arts as well.

Friday, we fly back out of Houston - DIRECTLY to Baltimore - to pick up our car and pay off our nearly $70 parking tab.

We have a video camera, a digital camera, presents for all and sundry, and way more money than we expected to have. A blast? Yes, one will be had by all. Woohoo!

Today was great, actually; I got simply TONS of great news today.

First, I got my breathing machine, so I can presumably sleep without fear of INSTANT DEATH, and that's a good thing. Second, Empire decided to kick loose my vacation check at the same time as my pay for THIS week, so I actually have like $300 more than I expected for the next two weeks.

Third... Well, ok. When I started my current job at Empire, the hours were 9:30 Am - 8 PM, and that wasn't a problem. Just recently, from what I can see for no actual reason whatsoever other than screwing with us, they moved the hours to 8:30 AM - 7 PM. This leaves me, on Tara's work nights, with about 5 hours in which to sleep;  bad juju for someone with a sleep disorder.

So, when my line leader jokingly suggested I bid on a different, non-line, non-constant-use-of-fast-moving-sharp-objects job, that happened to have the same hours as my original hours for my current position, I went ahead and put in my name for it; got told today, when I got back to work from the doctor's, that I won the bid, and will start the new job as soon as I come back from vacation. Score! No more huge divots carved out of my thumb because I fell asleep on the line due to apnea-induced narcolepsy.

We got our boarding passes already; we're 90% packed; we have extra batteries, and tunes for all the traveling.

This is gonna be so much fun.

I am soooooo gonna be in Multiply withdrawal by day two. Bear with me, y'all; there will be videos. Oh yes, many, many videos. And pictures.