So, we Redboxed Kick-Ass.
If you don't understand that phrase, kindly step forward into the internet generation, you Neanderthal.
At any rate, we finally got a chance to see it, and almost immediately found out what the controversy was all about.
See, there was controversy surrounding this movie.
I will get to it.
OK, spoiler-free, the movie is about a kid who gets tired of seeing petty crimes going unpunished and unopposed by Joe Citizen, and decides to become a "super" hero, in his case by donning a hideous green and yellow wetsuit and going out to...
...Well, get stabbed and then run over by a car.
What, he's a noob.
Of course, once healed, he follows it up by saving a guy from a beating at the hands of three punks, and gets in a great line; one of the punks asks him "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and he responds, "three of you laying into one guy while everyone else watches, and you're asking what's wrong with ME?!"
I will say up front that this movie is quite bloody.
And that's where the controversy comes in.
See, virtually all the actual significant violence, death, or injury in the movie is inflicted by Hit Girl, played by Chloe Moretz.
Hit Girl is around 11.
Chloe Moretz is actually 13.
Which makes the fact that she kills at least 23 people in the movie (this site says 40,) swears a LOT - some things you'd hope a girl that age wouldn't actually know, much less say in a movie - and basically plays a child sociopath trained as an assassin from birth, a little disturbing.
What makes it worse is that the character is fucking awesome.
You really, really don't want to find yourself rooting for a child in those kinds of circumstances, particularly since that child - or the actress, anyway - has to actually know those words and be at least peripherally aware of the violence she's portraying, and some of the stunts could not be reproduced by any amount of green-screening.
To put it in perspective, her previous roles have included 31 episodes as Darby on "My Friends Tigger and Pooh."
Ouch.
But the real deal is that Hit Girl is clearly the true hero of the movie. She saves almost all the "good guys," wipes the floor with the bad guys, and generally, well, kicks ass.
So, is it good or bad? On the good side, well, she wins; evil is punished, with frankly very little help from either the titular wannabe, or any of the significant adults in her life, and on the bad, well...
...I don't think the bullies at a regular school are really prepared for her.
Kick-Ass's comic-loving schlub buddies nail it, I think.
"Hit Girl is fucking awesome!"
"Dude, she's like 11."
"For her? I'll wait! I am so going to save myself for her."
At any rate, gory, bloody, at times very funny, and we're buying it.
