...Change We Can Deceive In

President Barack Obama.

Change.gov - an illegal domain registration prior to his election, by the way.

"Hope."

"Change."

Riiiiiiight.

So.

El Presidente para Vida, our New Fearless Leader, promised a lot of stuff during the campaign; primarily, he promised to not be like Bush.

Now, I have long said that although I think Bush was not a good president, my assessment of him in that light depends upon other factors than the majority of people seem to.

But that's ok; because the ways Obama promised to be different - the ways I wish he would be the same - are the ones upon which he is breaking his word.

So, let's see: "Bring all them troops home! Peace in our time!" 

...Except he's not bringing them home; he's moving them to Afghanistan. This is not the same thing as bringing them home, guys. But hey, at least they won't be in a country that didn't attack us, didn't pose a credible threat to us, doesn't possess WMDs, and had nothing whatsoever to do with 9/11, right?

...Oh, wait. 

My bad.

I'm not supposed to point things like that out, right?

Well, at least he's stopping the torture of the War On Terror detainees, right?

I mean, because he's better than that; torture is wrong!

...Except that we can still waterboard them, because THAT'S not torture. It was during the Bush administration, but now that we have the RIGHT PEOPLE in charge, it's not torture, again.

Glad we got THAT resolved.

Well, at least we've stopped the Constitutional abuses of the Bush administration, and the domestic spy agencies won't be tapping your phone without warrants, right? 

Um, about that.

Boy, it's a good thing Obama cares about the troops, right? I mean, he's going to be a new and different kind of Commander-In-Chief, and that's good, right? President Bush wrote personal letters to the family of every member of our military killed in the War On Terror, but he didn't go to anybody's funeral, and he didn't treat our people like their sacrifice means anything! Why, at least Obama found time to go to the Medal of Honor Winners' Ball on Inauguration Day!

...Um, wait.

Well, we've stopped racism in its tracks, just by having Obama elected, right?

...About that...

Well, at least we're cleaning up the Department of the Treasury, so there won't be any more corruption there; that's a good thing!

...Not so much...

Well, he's going to create jobs and save the economy!

...Except he's not. And it will cost us TRILLIONS of taxpayer dollars to find that out - which he admits right up front.

Well, he'll be more open with the press, and not try to cover things up, right? because he's honest, and stuff. So when the press asks him a surprise question, he'll man up and answer it, right?

...Ha ha, he'll interrupt the reporter, and order him to wait for a press conference to ask questions.

Well, at least he'll kill babies worldwide!

President Bush leaves office after having given us 2,688 days without a successful terrorist attack on American soil.

He didn't stop the bailout frenzy, which tarnishes his legacy significantly in my eyes.

But in terms of one of his primary duties as President - that of providing safety to our citizens - he succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

I wonder if President Barack Obama will be able to say the same, four years from now?