Oh, Boy, Are People Going To Get Mad When They Read This. Come Get Some.

Let's talk about reading comprehension.

Some of you have it, some of you don't.

If you're one of the ones that does, then, I'm not going to be talking about you. I AM going to talk shit about the people who don't have any reading comprehension. So brace yourself.

Especially since what I'm about to say may remove your delusion that YOU have reading comprehension.

See, I'm going to talk about autism. And a radio talk show host.

And thus far, this topic has turned people's minds into helpless, useless slush.

So, I will be clear. If you're one of the ones turned into brainless slush by what I have to say here, then I AM INSULTING YOU PERSONALLY.

Just to make REALLY, REALLY SURE there's no "misinterpretation."

See, on the 16th of July, a gentleman by the name of Michael Savage did a program in which he was asked about his views on autism.

So I'm gonna discuss what he said, and what MY views on autism are, and then we're going to talk about how many, many people in America are illiterate fucktards.

Right.

So, Savage was asked about autism, and he made some statements that people appear unable to process.

Specifically, he said:

SAVAGE: Now, you want me to tell you my opinion on autism, since I'm not talking about autism? A fraud, a racket. For a long while, we were hearing that every minority child had asthma. Why did they sudden -- why was there an asthma epidemic amongst minority children? Because I'll tell you why: The children got extra welfare if they were disabled, and they got extra help in school. It was a money racket. Everyone went in and was told [fake cough], "When the nurse looks at you, you go [fake cough], 'I don't know, the dust got me.' " See, everyone had asthma from the minority community. That was number one.

Now, the illness du jour is autism. You know what autism is? I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is.

What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, "Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot."

Autism -- everybody has an illness. If I behaved like a fool, my father called me a fool. And he said to me, "Don't behave like a fool." The worst thing he said -- "Don't behave like a fool. Don't be anybody's dummy. Don't sound like an idiot. Don't act like a girl. Don't cry." That's what I was raised with. That's what you should raise your children with. Stop with the sensitivity training. You're turning your son into a girl, and you're turning your nation into a nation of losers and beaten men. That's why we have the politicians we have.

So.

Let's dissect this, shall we?

He says

In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out.

This is what's called hyperbole; he's exaggerating for effect. In fact, the misdiagnosis rate for autism is about 34%.

But what's he saying here? The "autism community" seems to think - because, I suppose, they're autistic, so they can't read, that he's calling actually autistic children brats. That's not what he said; he said 99% of the cases AREN'T AUTISM AT ALL.

So, what's the objection, here? That he's exaggerating? Noooooooo. That would be a LEGITIMATE objection. No, the objection to this statement is that he's talking about people's actual, personal, legitimately sick, autistic children.

Except he's not. And that's a problem. Because he's not wrong; he's exaggerating. And in ACTUAL FACT, according to the experts, 34% of the children diagnosed as having autism are IN REALITY "brats who haven't been told to cut the act out."

So. Does this apply to YOUR child? Your ACTUALLY AUTISTIC child?

Clearly, no.

Unless you fail reading comprehension.

But let's move right along, shall we?

He said

Why did they sudden -- why was there an asthma epidemic amongst minority children? Because I'll tell you why: The children got extra welfare if they were disabled, and they got extra help in school.

Now, why would he say this?

MAYBE because there's a misdiagnosis rate for autism of THIRTY-FOUR PERCENT. And that IS a fraud and a racket. Someone, somewhere, is making money off autism. THAT is what's wrong; THAT is what should be stopped. You want to advance the "cause" of autism, and push for actual research? Good idea.

Because in reality, there is no actual medical test that can determine if a child is autistic.

Now, if there's no actual medical test that can diagnose the child as having autism, how do they figure it out?

By observing the child's behavior, of course. Autistic children tend to behave in certain ways. The Autism Society provides a convenient bullet list to describe autistic behavior:

Insistence on sameness; resistance to change
Difficulty in expressing needs; using gestures or pointing instead of words
Repeating words or phrases in place of normal, responsive language
Laughing (and/or crying) for no apparent reason; showing distress for reasons not apparent to others
Preference to being alone; aloof manner
Tantrums
Difficulty in mixing with others
Not wanting to cuddle or be cuddled
Little or no eye contact
Unresponsive to normal teaching methods
Sustained odd play
Spinning objects
Obsessive attachment to objects
Apparent over-sensitivity or under-sensitivity to pain
No real fears of danger
Noticeable physical over-activity or extreme under-activity
Uneven gross/fine motor skills
Non-responsive to verbal cues; acts as if deaf, although hearing tests are in normal range

Right. Now. THAT SAME ORGANIZATION recommends that children be diagnosed - based on observation of these behaviors - as having autism as early as TWO YEARS OLD.
"Spinning objects." Did any of you EVER in all your life see a two-year-old that WASN'T fascinated by spinning objects? "Tantrums?" Are you fucking KIDDING me? What child DOESN'T have tantrums occasionally?

In fact, they recommend screening a child for autism twice BEFORE they're 24 months old. At that age, MOST kids go through a stage of pointing at things instead of calling them by name. MOST kids get attached to objects. MOST kids have uneven gross and fine motor skills.

Does this therefore mean that MOST kids have autism? No. It means that the behaviors used to diagnose autism don't begin to stand out from the norm until the child is much older.

And by that same token, it means that a hell of a lot of kids get diagnosed with autism WHO DON'T FUCKING HAVE IT.

But let's get back to Mr. - I'm sorry, excuse me, DOCTOR - Savage, shall we?

After all, his claim that autism is widely misdiagnosed, despite the facts supporting him, is clearly a slam at those who are actually ill.

His claim that those who ARE misdiagnosed are in need of parenting, not medication, is clearly a slam at those who AREN'T misdiagnosed.

His claim that misdiagnosis for profit exists, and that intentionally misdiagnosing children as autistic for profit is FRAUD is CLEARLY a slam against those who AREN'T misdiagnosed, and against the parents of those non-misdiagnosed kids, who are obviously frauds as well.

So, what are the facts? Since we're discussing Dr. Savage's comments about autism, how about some actual facts about autism? MSNBC reports that:

But many experts believe these unsociable behaviors were just about as common 30 or 40 years ago. The recent explosion of cases appears to be mostly caused by a surge in special education services for autistic children, and by a corresponding shift in what doctors call autism.

Autism has always been diagnosed by making judgments about a child's behavior; there are no blood or biologic tests. For decades, the diagnosis was given only to kids with severe language and social impairments and unusual, repetitious behaviors.

Right, so what they're saying is that as opposed to the past, when kids who actually needed help were diagnosed with autism, NOW kids are getting diagnosed with autism based on all kinds of unrelated crap, so that they can get social services - EXACTLY what Dr. Savage said.

ChildCareExchange points out that diagnoses of autism have increased by as much as EIGHT HUNDRED PERCENT since 1990 - and that only a third of the increase represents actual cases. This is exactly the point Dr. Savage was making.

Sadly, psychologists and social workers misdiagnose children by the thousands every year, not just with autism, but with a host of disorders; ADHD, autism, OCD, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Chronic Complaint Disorder, you name it. Just because Dr. Savage was asked about autism, and thus made this point in reference specifically to autism as a common misdiagnosis, doesn't mean it was about YOU.

If you've been pissed off about this, and now you feel ashamed of yourself, congratulations! You're literate, you have reading comprehension, and you're getting past a rough patch. If it helps any, I have occasional slips as well, and as a result I can sympathize with you about how easy it is to take a magic keyword and instantly get pissed off when anyone talks about it; it's what happens to me when people begin talking about communism.

But if you're still pissed at Dr. Savage, and still convinced that he was talking about YOU, or YOUR KID, who is TRAGICALLY SICK and HOW DARE HE, then I'm about to start personally insulting you.

Brace yourself.

If you HONESTLY BELIEVE that talking about people who defraud the taxpayer for millions of dollars in benefits a year, is insulting to those who are not defrauding the taxpayer at all, then you are a drooling fucktard.

If you HONESTLY BELIEVE that saying there's a huge misdiagnosis rate for autism means that YOUR CHILD is misdiagnosed, then you're taking offense deliberately at something not directed at you; this makes you a babbling idiot.

If you HONESTLY BELIEVE that saying kids who are NOT AUTISTIC that act out need parental attention, somehow insults the parenting skills of those who have actual autistic children, you are an illiterate, incompetent jackass who should live in a plastic bubble.

And most importantly, if you don't understand the exact point I'm making here - the DIFFERENCE between a PERSONAL INSULT and something directed at someone who's NOT YOU - then you fail reading comprehension, and I AM personally insulting YOU.

What amazes me, here, is that no-one - NOT ONE PERSON - seems to have seized upon the homophobia inherent in Savage's comments as to how a father should react. "Don't be a girl." Nice. Yet no-one calls him on THIS, which was more offensive by FAR than his comments that people who defraud the government with intentional misdiagnosis are jerks. Instead, they openly misinterpret his comments so that they can take them as a personal insult, when they were clearly and obviously NOT directed at people with autistic children.