Get Ready For Some Laughter.

See, I wasn't kidding the other day when I reported that the Senate Select Committee On Intelligence report - the Rockefeller report, if you will - had vindicated the President, showing that every pre-Iraq War claim he made was backed by intelligence data.

And Nancy Pelosi knew it would.

I know she did, because the Democrats have been loudly trumpeting for years about how they wanted to impeach President Bush for lying to the American people - and yet she, among other Democratic leaders - has fought mightily to keep them from doing that very thing.

They even sold bumper stickers, remember?

So, why stop them? I mean, President Bush is hated; surely impeachment is a logical next step for the Democrats, especially considering they've been yabbering about doing it for the last five years.

I mean, the only reason to stop them would be...

...

...If you knew you couldn't convict him.

So Speaker Pelosi has been hauling on leashes like mad, trying to keep the Democrats under control.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has repeatedly said she would not support a resolution calling for Bush's impeachment, saying such a move was unlikely to succeed and would be divisive.

But there's always gotta be one.

Monday night, Dennis Kucinich introduced articles of impeachment, claiming that President Bush:

• lied to the American people (impeachable,)
• committed war crimes (impeachable,)
• used false pretenses for starting a war (impeachable,)
• failed to provide adequate equipment for the troops (laughable, considering it was Congress that shot down the spending bills for it,)
• illegally detained prisoners (impeachable, except the detainees weren't detained illegally - there was a court decision about this just today, actually,)
• broke laws using signing statements (true, but laughable since it's legal,)
• isn't helping global warming (wtf?)
• didn't do well at responding to Hurricane Katrina (again, laughable considering the President isn't in charge of FEMA, and it was the governor of Louisiana, Kathleen Blanco, who told President Bush PERSONALLY that they didn't need federal help AFTER THE LEVEES HAD ALREADY BROKEN,)
• isn't doing anything about voting rights (laughable considering we all have them - even people in jail)
• hasn't fixed Medicare (laughable since Kucinich was one of the ones that voted against the President's proposed reform of that agency,)
• and doesn't reply to Congressional subpoenas, which is laughable since the President has no legal obligation to do so.
  

That last being why the Clintons got away with it, by the way.

So, of the not-very-many actual impeachable offenses there, there remain NONE of which the President has not been cleared in advance.

Now, this is an election year.

And this means that the President has less than 7 months until the question of impeachment will be a moot point, because he will be out of office.

Going by the Clintons, again (I have no other example, since I wasn't even born - nor was my grandfather - when they attempted to impeach Andrew Jackson) there's no chance whatsoever that the impeachment of President Bush will actually take place. This kind of proceeding takes years; 7 months won't cut it.

And so, despite what Speaker Pelosi has done to try to prevent this kind of jackassery, in an election year, the Democrats are all going to sign on a political suicide pact, to try to impeach a lame duck President with mere months remaining in office who has been acquitted in advance of the only actual criminal charges in the lot.

So, get ready to laugh.

Because ALL the House Democrats signed the articles of impeachment.

Which means that - in an election year - they're going to be President Bush's absolute best advocates; their hearings will serve only to get the truth out there about the Iraq war and its genesis, and that CANNOT go well for the Democrats.

See, if they actually BELIEVED all their crap about pulling the troops out, they would have done it already. They haven't, because they know good and damn well that the war over there was justified morally, it was justified for humanitarian reasons, military reasons, self-defense reasons; and now they have no choice but to show the whole world that same truth.

President McCain, I salute your military service, and wish you well in your term in office!


...Oh, and in other news... Remember those stimulus checks that aren't supposed to work, and we're all gonna gang up and make fun of?

Yeah, they've caused the biggest surge in retail sales in six months, and nearly totally reversed the negative trend in the market.

Suck it, haters. I bought a new TV.

Serenity looks friggin' awesome in 720p.