Late Valentine's Day, And Such

I want you guys to know, this has absolutely been the worst couple of weeks in a long, long time. Every tiny, annoying thing that could go wrong - a baking dish randomly exploding on the stove top and covering the kitchen with broken glass while I'm on the other side of it barefoot, stuff that's been sitting comfortably in a spot for a week suddenly falling (and breaking,) terrible.

I got yelled at four times in one day by four different people at work - thus demonstrating the idea of "too many chiefs, not enough injuns," - and have had, thanks to my employers' randomly setting our line to start an hour earlier during an ice storm, about 9 hours of sleep since Monday.

I got driven off the road into a snowbank by a crazy idiot who thought having a 4x4 meant it was ok to drive 55 (arrive alive) in an ice storm, before the plows came out.

Blah.

My lovely, long-suffering (she lives with ME, come on now) wife Tara has been having an equally shitty week or so, and last night had reached a point where she was tearing up because our son made a noise. Nothing special; he went something like "aoooogargleblah" and she turned red and started leaking.

I offered to put a gasket on her.

I don't think that helped as much as I was hoping it would.

So, today, when I got home from work, and she began listing off all the stuff we had to get done this weekend, I just said:

"No. Fuck no. We're not doing any of that. All shopping and errands will be done Friday. Saturday we're going to Selinsgrove; we're leaving early; we're going to TWO - not ONE, but TWO - restaurants, for lunch and dinner, and in between we're going to walk around the mall for hours until we're hungry. We haven't gone anywhere other than work, Walmart, and the Chinese buffet since we've been in Pennsylvania and I will be dipped in shit if that will continue."

She said, "Just had your fill of it, honey?"

"You're goddamn right."

Now, that, friends and neighbors, is a plan. So, if you were counting on reading my sarcastic commentary on all things this weekend, guess what? You won't. My wife and I are gonna be wandering around a mall, window shopping and pushing the boy around in a stroller. All domestic, and shit. Look at me being Family Guy.

I can think of any number of things I would like to be able to do this weekend. But I'll tell you a secret; I wouldn't want to do ANY of them without Tara. She is the star of my heart, the love of my life, and absolutely without qualification the best thing that's ever, ever happened to me.

So, basically what I guess I'm getting at is, I love my wife. With all my heart.

And anybody that doesn't understand that, well, I feel nothing but profound sadness that your life sucks that much.