Normally, I am immune to the blandishments of the gossip rags, and even the allure of FARK.com's "Showbiz" tab.
But this week, I had to laugh, at not one, but three events.
All, oddly enough, were about "celebrities."
All three celebrities are blonde; female; young; and marvellously stupid.
To demonstrate, starting with the saddest, and yet "with-most-potential-for-recovery" of the three:
Britney Spears lost her kids. The custody judge, after considering all the factors and all the information, decided that Kevin Federline would be a better parent than Britney Spears, and granted K-Fed full custody.
Congratulations, Ms. Spears, you've been declared BY A JUDGE to be less able to care for your kids than KEVIN FEDERLINE. Your mom must be proud; oh, wait, as I recall, wasn't she on his side in the custody case? Ouch.
Next, comes, well...
Paris Hilton, who amazingly was dumb enough to go on the David Letterman show, as though there's anyone left in the country who doesn't know what Dave will do to them given the chance.
Here's what happened:
Sad to watch someone with so much going for them - errr, money, anyway - get victimized by such horrifying mockery of their own raving stupidity. I mean, after all, acting like such a complete clown should certainly not carry any consequence whatsoever, and certainly not the obvious disdain and scorn of humorists the world over. Fie on you, Dave! Fie!
And lastly, there's Jessica Simpson.
*Gusty sigh*
Jessica was in a movie recently.
I know, you haven't seen it.
That's because it's so magnificently terrible, so utterly without value, that no DVD production company will touch it; it has actually bypassed "straight to DVD" and discovered a new realm of retail ghetto-ness; her new movie went
Straight.
To.
QVC.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!
