Biting Down Viciously With Teeth Like A Lion...

So, I'm gonna get all kinds of spoilery talking about something old enough that spoilers shouldn't matter.

Have any of you ever read the book "IT" by Stephen King?

If you have not, you're going to get a bit of an education about it today.

See, the powers that be in Hollyweird have decided to "remake" IT into a pair of theatrical, hard-R-rated movies.

And suddenly there was an outcry, because "No Tim Curry? Booooooo!"

Wait, wait, back up.

OK.

So, the book came out in 1986.

In 1990, there was a TV miniseries, adapted from the book, that starred Tim Curry in the role of...

Wait, wait, back up.

OK, so the book, at its base, is about a small town built on top of an extraterrestrial crash site. The creature - otherwise known as "IT" - which came to earth in prehistoric times, is a psychic predator, which is able to shapeshift, control minds, and project hallucinations, among other things.

It likes children, as they are easy prey.

Kids are scared of clowns.

So, one of ITs favorite forms is "Pennywise," the most terrifying clown in, well, ever.

No, really.

In the TV miniseries, Tim Curry plays Pennywise, and does so quite well.

But it's important to distinguish that from playing "IT," as in the book, IT takes on many, many forms.

So, I'm going to delve into the book a bit, and in the process, explain a bit about why the miniseries, while enjoyable in its own right, was a fucking terrible adaptation of the book, and why A remake is a great idea. (Emphasis because I have no idea how THIS remake will turn out.)

I will note that at this point, there isn't enough information available to know whether this remake will be what's needed, or any good at all, although the hard-R and runtime makes me think it at least has a shot.

So.

In the book, the eponymous creature wakes every 27 years, feeds, and returns to slumber. During its waking periods, the town of Derry, Maine, undergoes a series of disasters, disappearances, bizarre murders, and general mayhem...

...And then IT goes back to sleep, and the town forgets.

The novel heavily implies, but doesn't state outright, that the alien projects forgetfulness of its attacks onto the townspeople as part of protecting itself while it sleeps.

The novel is quite rightly considered a classic of horror, but for those of you who have never read the book, you may not understand quite why it was, and is, such a big deal.

So here goes.

The book is constructed as a paired narrative; following a group of kids who call themselves "The Losers' Club," during one of IT's waking periods, in 1957, and then following those same people as adults, during IT's next waking phase, as they try to finish what they tried and failed to do as kids - killing the creature and ending its cycle forever.

As such, it acts as both a coming-of-age novel, and as a parable about returning home; finding both in a single narrative is already a step above most novels full stop, much less above most horror novels.

But beyond that, the shifting, fear-based nature of the creature gives King an opportunity that maybe no other single narrative could have, which is that it let him create vignette after vignette of wildly different horror, and present them all in the context of a single story.

Human fears are often irrational; often unconnected; often simply nonsensical.

And IT appears as whatever you fear.

For a small child, it may be a clown hiding in a storm drain, with teeth like a lion.

For a teenage pyromaniac who kills animals by suffocating them inside an abandoned refrigerator, it may be a cloud of flying leech-wasps that drain you of blood.

For a young man unsure of his sexuality it might appear as a leper, propositioning him in a way he doesn't even understand yet.

For another kid, the Mummy.

For another person, the werewolf.

For another, a giant, hungry bird.

For another, an abusive husband who is utterly unstoppable.

And IT gives King the opportunity to tell all those stories at once.

As an anecdotal aside, I used to have a good friend whose daughter Katie, at age 12, was quite intelligent and precocious. Said kiddo decided to tackle this book, and I advised against it, and told her and her mom that I thought it was a bit above her readiness. She insisted, and I volunteered to act as a sounding board if she needed to talk about anything she read in the book.

She got her copy from the school library, and dived in, and a few days later, told me "I don't see what all the fuss was about."

Upon my inquiries ("Seriously? You weren't bothered by the flying leechwasps?" "What flying leechwasps?") I got to witness a truly epic tantrum, as it turned out that the school library had a heavily sanitized, heavily abridged edition that was deemed "safe" for the kids.

After a fairly extended bout of screaming at the school librarian, Katie procured an unabridged, complete edition of the book.

Three days later, she gave up and told us she thought she would never sleep again.

Never even made it to the leechwasps.

So.

As kids, the Losers' Club face the indifference - and baffling lack of involvement - of adults; powerlessness; other kids, who can be manipulated not only by their environment but by the creature as well, and the built-in trials of growing up.

As adults, returning to Derry years later, they face middle age; the knowledge that they tried and failed to kill this thing once before; the fear of the consequences of returning, which as kids they never had to face; they face greater doubt, no less fear, and a firm awareness that this is their last chance, because in 27 more years they will simply be victims.

It is a magnificently, brilliantly constructed, hallucinatory meditation on the nature of fear itself, on friendship, loyalty, sacrifice, and the meaning of courage, and it's one of the greatest novels ever written.

When the miniseries was made, it was constrained tremendously by network TV. If it had been released as a movie, it would mayyyyybe have managed a PG rating.

"They left out a lot," to put it mildly. Being on TV meant that virtually all of the really scary bits, and a huge majority of the story, were simply abandoned as unsuitable for family audiences.

The novel's enormously controversial sex scene - in which the Losers' Club's one girl, Beverly Marsh, "bonds" the club together by having sex with each male member, in sequence, in a sewer tunnel, just before they confront the creature in its lair, at age 12 - was removed entirely for obvious reasons. (And likely will be in the remake, as well.)

The majority of the monster's appearances were also removed.

As a result, the miniseries is left with one face, for the "ultimate faceless monster that can be anything" - Pennywise.

It's no wonder the fans of the miniseries think Pennywise is super-de-duper important.

But in the book, Pennywise is a minor part; primarily, the creature uses Pennywise as a way of appearing to the kids when it isn't going to directly attack them.

I understand that you can't really represent IT - a being composed of several glowing orbs of sickly orange light that drive people instantly insane to see them - in its "natural" form, and that Pennywise is a recognizable face to put on the villain.

But this is a creature of immense power; a villain of subtlety, terror, and mystery; a creature that is thousands if not millions of years old and comes from a place outside our universe.

The most important thing about IT is not the actor playing the fucking clown.

A proper treatment, with more of the story intact, more of the monster itself intact, more of the scares intact, and a generally improved sense of fidelity to the original, could be amazing.

No offense, guys, but as much as I also think Tim Curry is awesome, I'm totally not going to miss him for this one.