So, a couple of years ago, I had the biggest change I've ever had not change much.
By which I mean to say, I got married. (Which is different from what we were before where we lived together and shared everything because it just is, ok, shut up.)
My lovely wife, who I typically refer to as Lovely Wife - which in my way of thinking distinguishes her from all the random and semi-random females I know and is admirably descriptive - commemorated the occasion of our having gotten married by posting some rambling blather about it on Tumblr.
Which implies two things:
First, that Tumblr is a thing.
More on this in a minute.
Second, it means that I must, by way of keeping up, also issue forth some sort of rambling blather.
So, Tumblr is a thing, and by "a thing," I mean to say that it apparently is a place where you can indulge your inner fan so long as you do so in an acceptable way - following one of the accepted fandoms, and doing so without accidentally violating one of the many, many "unwritten" rules of the community which will result in a deluge of threats, hatred, and namecalling from social justice warriors, most of whom are too young to know what half those words mean anyway.
I admit I am not sure why Lovely Wife likes this thing.
However, Lovely Wife finds a lot of things I'm not really into, and goes all googly-eyed over them, while I look on in bafflement.
I am given to understand that this is normal.
I have a far smaller slate of things which are baffling to her, which I am given to understand is also normal.
But here's the thing.
I have discovered over the course of a few years with Lovely Wife that watching her flip out over stuff is one of the most fun experiences I've ever had.
I am disappointed to report that Lovely Wife banned me from putting the picture I really wanted, here. I took a shot of her laughing so hard she was literally crying. I smile every time I see that picture. It's one of my favorite photos I've ever taken of her.
...She hates it, for reasons.
I'm not sure what they are, but they're there. (So, here's Lovely Wife with a tree, instead.)
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| See? Tree. |
Among the other things I have learned about Lovely Wife, I have learned that my ability to predict the outcome of her decision-making process is roughly as successful as my ability to predict political shenanigans, which is to say about 83%.
It should be noted that this does not imply, and should not be construed as, any particularly deep understanding of the decision-making process itself. For my money, Lovely Wife arrives at her decisions through a combination of sorcery, anxiety, and chocolate in proportions dependent on the length of time since she last watched Supernatural.
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| Lovely Wife indulging in an alternate but still Tumblr-approved fandom. |
But I can usually guess where she's going pretty well.
I'm glad that I can honestly say that most of the time, that's with me.
Lovely Wife was there the time I won a staring contest with a horse. Which, by coincidence, was the same day I went on a mystic vision quest for bacon, but that's another story.
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| It's like you thought I was kidding. that's cute. |
She laughed at me.
This is ok, because I laugh at myself a lot. I am a ridiculous caricature of a human being most days, but the real joke - the one she gets, better than anyone else - is that I think other people's reactions to me are fucking hysterical. And I don't mind people laughing at me, because I am laughing at them right back.
Even when she doesn't necessarily do it for the same reasons, we typically end up laughing at the same things and the same people.
Even when that's us.
Lovely Wife matches me. We both get weirdly intense when competing against...
Errrrrr...
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| Galactic goddamn hero, right there. That's right. |
...Imaginary aliens?
We both agreed that the selection of convenient, life-changing breath sprays available at the biggest candy store in Minnesota was worthwhile.
My favorite was the "Communicate With Your Father!" spray.
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| Because wuuuuuuuuut? |
See, Lovely Wife and I have gone places.
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| Like bowling. |
We've done stuff.
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| What, you think I only "Grrrr!" at you? Pfffft. |
We saw Harry and the Potters. (They're a real band! Look them up!)
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| Who, I admit, sound much better when you're VERY drunk. |
It doesn't matter if it's meeting William Shatner.
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| Who I suspect felt about ComicCon the way I felt about Harry and the Potters. |
It doesn't matter if it's someone else's wedding.
It doesn't matter if it's the State Fair.
It does matter that we're together.
This year, my grandmother died, and I was extremely surprised by the depth of my sense of loss when that happened.
Lovely Wife produced, through some sorcery that I can only imagine, enough money to pay for airfare so that I could go to the funeral.
Not because she was all that invested in my grandmother, but because she knew how important it was to me, and cared.
Both she and I are odd people, prone to inappropriate emotional attachment to things, places and people. Neither one of us really does things the way everyone else seems to.
I have no idea how much of that appearance on the part of others is illusionary.
But what I do know is that knowing that she has that depth of care for me, and for my feelings, says pretty much all that's necessary for me.
I love you, noisy midget. (No, seriously, her hiccups are the loudest thing ever invented. The first time Van Halen went on tour, they tracked down her parents and asked to record the sound of her hiccuping, so they could analyze it and find new ways to make their amplifiers better.)
Seriously. She's so, so loud.
And as I typed that, I got "Really?!" followed by a unsubtly-muttered "oh, my god."
Yep, really.
Some days I have no idea why she still follows me around.
Every day, I'm grateful she continues to do so.
You make me happy, Lovely Wife.
Happy Anniversary.
