Monday, May 06, 2013

A Random Letter To A Random Internet Person.

So, there I was, browsing along on the internet, wasting time on my day off, when I found this.

Now, at first, looking at this, I was going to post some kind of throwaway, simple "hope you feel better, buck up" kinda thing.

And for those of you who came here expecting that that's what this is, well, TL; DR: it isn't, and you'll probably leave disappointed; it's long and most likely not that relevant to you.

So.

Here's the thing.

I've been thinking about things recently that - in some ways - touch on this person's feelings; about the unrealistic expectations we give kids growing up, about the ways we set them up for crushing disappointment and humiliation later in life when they find out they don't really live in a plastic bubble of safety.

This person just expressed something - well - through photographs that made all those thoughts congeal together into something that I want to say, whether or not anyone's listening.

So, hey, Random Internet Person.

I get it.

The expectation you've been given is all roses and sunshine and happy panda bears and smiley faces; you've graduated, you're ready to take your first steps into the big world out there and have nothing but parties and people throwing money and fame and happiness and success at you because you're awesome.

And the way you're feeling right now doesn't jive with that at all.

Well, since your dad's not here to give you great advice, I'll do my best to contribute some; you'll have to judge for yourself if it's something he would have said, or meant.

Uncertainty is what being an adult IS.

If you're a sane, responsible human being, you are, always, on some level, aware of how many ways things can go wrong, how many risks there are in every decision, how many chances you take even going outside, much less trying the kinds of things you do as an adult: get a new job, move to a new city, start a new relationship.

That can be terrifying, especially if it's your first time doing the ropewalk without a net.

But guess what?

The way you handle that uncertainty is what shows the world who you are.

A lot of people dive for cover when they realize what they're really looking at; move back in with their parents, live in the basement, hide until they're 40 or can't anymore.

I'm hoping you're better than that.

Because those risks are what pays off, in every way that means anything. Sure, that new job may turn out to suck. It could also lead to fulfilling a lifelong dream; you WILL NOT KNOW until you give it a shot. Sure, staying out of the world of responsibility is safer, but you're not really living when you're busy hiding.

Sure, that new city may turn out to be full of bad experiences for you. Or you could meet the love of your life - who you never would have met, staying home; you WILL NOT KNOW until you give it a shot.

Sure, that new relationship could leave you sad, lonely, and hurt. Or it could be something that enriches every day of your life going forward; you WILL NOT KNOW until you give it a shot.

So think of it this way.

Growing up, the world around you - obviously not your dad, who seems to have had his head screwed on straight, but everyone else - gave you this rosy picture of Life After School. And you bought it, at least a little, because it sure sounds awesome.

Now you're bumping into the realization that if you fall, it's a long, long way down.

And that's scary.

But courage only exists where fear does.

You aren't being brave if you're not afraid; you're either unaffected, sociopathic, or too dumb to know better.

But if you can look at the world - risks and all - square in the eye, crack your knuckles, and get down to work, regardless of uncertainty, fear, worries, or anything else that might hold you back, you're a thousand times closer to achieving your dreams, whatever they may be, than you are hiding in a basement because it's "safe."

And those of us who have chosen to do the same thing are way more likely to offer care, concern, and help to someone we see trying and struggling, than we are to those who spend all their effort and time on avoiding anything risky.

Take those first steps.

Scares and all, the world is a beautiful place. Love exists. Happiness exists. For every risk, every chance, every choice, there is a potential reward out there that makes every step on the way there worth it...

...But only if those steps get taken.

Be brave. Be strong. Nothing can stand up to the power of the human will, if you can focus it on your goals.

Never, ever let your fear stop you from trying. Ever.

Be unstoppable.