Obligatory shocking "headline" opening sentence!
Minor historical rewind to explain unnecessary background information...
Anecdotal evidence that the philosophically opposing political party is undesirable, interspersed with ad hominem attacks and vague allegations of sexual deviance from the statistical norm.
Continued anecdotal evidence, unsupported by facts.
More ad hominem attacks in a larger, italicized font!
Specific complaint against the current legislative agenda of the opposing political group, sparsely populated by links purporting to support an argument when in fact there is neither argument nor supporting evidence for said argument.
Allegations of parliamentary procedure being used for ridiculous shenanigans by said opposing party, conveniently ignoring the fact that the author's own political party engaged in similar (or identical) shenanigans when in a similar position in terms of occupancy of the legislative body when divided by party affiliation.
Denigrating statements about the individual legislative members of the opposing party and their alleged deviant sexual escapades, this time involving members of lower animal strata.
Infuriated ad hominem attacks in an even larger intalicized font!
Rambling historical cherry-picking, ignoring the antics of the author's own party in favor of the antics of the opposing party even when the antics of the author's own party are equally if not more damaging.
Allegations that the opposing political party cannot understand basic arithmetic, much less economic theory; expanded into...
EVEN ANGRIER ALL CAPITALIZED AD HOMINEM ATTACKS IN THE LARGEST ITALICIZED FONT OF ALL!!
Gradual introduction of heavily biased conclusion predicated upon evidence never actually presented, as though it supported an argument lacking even basic logical coherence.
Final angry statement discussing the inherent obviousness of the author's chosen position and accusing any dissenters of said opinion of lacking basic upper brain function, in a large italicized font but this time with lots of exclamation points for unnecessary emphasis!!!!!!!!
Rhetorical call to arms, demanding action on the part of the readers, who by this point are surely disillusioned as to the very possibility of the opposing political party's possession of positive motives, and instructing the readers to support the author's chosen political cause of the day!
Snappy quote from a movie to round things out!
...You're welcome.
