Breaking News, Now With More Election-Related OMGWTF?!?

I'd say the 50-state strategy is a failure.

I'd say this because as of right now, barring court action, the Libertarian candidate, Bob Barr, is absolutely guaranteed to win the state of Texas in the Presidential Election.

Why, you ask?

What would prompt me to make such a wild, outrageous prognostication?

I mean, clearly all my election predictions have been proven wrong before, amirite?

Oh, wait. They were all, so far, proven RIGHT.

Yeah.


Not wrong on this one, either.

Why?

Because, in their rush to ensure they got as many electoral votes as possible, to absolutely guarantee that they will win the most states they can, they made one crucial mistake.

They forgot to file for election in Texas.

Yeah, both of them.


Which means that as of right now, Bob Barr (L) is the only candidate on the ballot for the Presidency in the state of Texas.

But don't take my word for it.

Look at the Texas ballot for November yourself.

That's fucking ridiculous.

Look, ok, I am a libertarian, sorta; I'm not either Democrat or Republican, although if forced to choose I will choose conservative over socialist any day; but you know what?

I am fucking disgusted by this.

Texas has the second highest number of electoral votes - 34 - behind only California (55.) Even New York has fewer - 31 - so, what the fuck?

I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?!?

How do you FORGET TO FILE in the second biggest electoral district in the nation, in what will no doubt be one of the most hotly contested elections EVER?

How do you write off a state at ALL, much less one with THIRTY-FOUR ELECTORAL VOTES?!?

You want to talk about losing the franchise? There it is, right there.

The Democrats and Republicans don't give a fuck about you.

They can't even be bothered to remember how many STATES there are.

Obama thinks there are 57, and McCain dismisses his biggest single block of electoral votes?

Both these guys ought to go in the fucking dustbin, and we ought to start again with new candidates. Frankly, we could hand things over to Sarah Palin of Alaska to keep things running while we figure out who the fuck is gonna be in charge. (That way she'll have some executive experience under her figurative belt when she runs for President in 2012 or 2016.) (THAT'S ANOTHER PREDICTION, BY THE WAY.)