Weirdness Happens

Billy Crystal to audience: "Shove your cellphones up your ass"

"So I finish the show, I come out, it was really hard to do, they gave me a great ovation... I said, `Ladies and gentlemen, you've been a great audience except we had 12 cellphones go off, so for the 12 of you who may have ruined it for these other people, the next time you go into a theatre... don't put on your cellphone, I was very kind, turn it off or don't take them, or simply shove them up your a**.' It's just horrible."

See? I wasn't kidding...
Now frankly, if you're on stage and you're talking to the audience about "darker and more personal things" then you are wearing your heart on your sleeve and taking the risk that someone will be a jerk. Learn to cope. But maybe that's just me. I hate people who can't turn off their cell phones for even a minute, too, but that doesn't excuse someone who gets paid as much as Billy Crystal does telling them to stick them up their asses. That's a little ridiculous.

In other news, United Airlines has issues with its stewardesses. How do I know? Because, despite the fact that United is in the process of going bankrupt AGAIN, for the who-knows-how-manyth time, their stewardesses are so upset about the decreases in their pensions that they're - wait for it - stripping. Now, before you get all excited, let me make sure you understand - five stewardesses, ranging from 55 to 64, are getting naked for a calendar. Yes, just like in Calendar Girls. Yes, it was a bad idea then, too.


No, really, I know. I didn't come up with it.