Another Dose Of Me$$ed - Up $h*t, Yo...

He didn't die from the Tazers, noooooo...

"There is no evidence that any of the restraint techniques used that night, including the Taser, directly caused Mr. Lee's cardiac arrest and death," Levy said. "The combined effects of multiple applications of the Taser, pepper spray and physical force on someone in excited delirium are unclear and require additional research."

Really. they shocked this guy 19 freakin times, hit him with pepper spray, and then beat him, and are somehow surprised that he just plain up and died on them.
Wow.


Ever wonder why no-one's ever managed to catch Bigfoot, The Abominable Snowman, or the Loch Ness Monster?
Because it never PAID this much before, that's why!

A Maine scientist is preparing to release details of a $1 million reward for a photograph that leads to the live capture of Bigfoot, the abominable snowman or the Loch Ness Monster.

That's right. Some unnamed company is offering A MILLION DOLLARS to anyone who can produce a photo or other evidence that leads to the capture and permanent retention of a live specimen of any of the big three.
Get out your tranq guns! Wooohoooo!

Never let it be said that Great Britain is behind the times; on the contrary, they're taking huge leaps into future totalitarianism all by themselves, thank you.
What's really cold is that not only are they now requiring biometric ID cards for all citizens and resident aliens, but they're CHARGING them for it... a LOT, too. 93 pounds, (162 US dollars, thanks,) actually, for the ID card and passport. Which is, errr... a lot of money for a hackable identity theft "prevention" device.

Since the word "dwarf," which has an actual meaning not synonymous with "midget," is no longer an acceptable term, you may soon be watching Snow White and the Seven... Gnomes?!?
No word yet, of course, on what the gnome population has to say about this.
And for those of you who are curious, here's the low-down: a "midget" is someone of normal physical proportion, but extremely diminutive height. A dwarf is someone who is equally short, but has unusual physical proportions as well; for example, having a normal torso, arms, and head, but extremely small legs.
It's not an insult, it's a descriptive term referring to a particular genetic phenotype. So shut the hell up about it, already.

You know you're having a terrible day when you get your mask on, grab your gun, and go to rob a beauty salon full of women - and they laugh you right out of the store empty-handed.
Not only am I not kidding, it's actually WORSE than I make it sound. The LITTLE OLD LADY in the store was making fun of him.
Damn. Reminds me of an old Pacino movie, for some reason.

The REAL LIFE Operation Blue Crush took place the other night; Memphis cops, after a two-month "sting" operation involving both local law enforcement and researchers from the University of Memphis arrested a bunch of evil drug dealers.
No big deal, right?
So WTF is this news?
I'll tell you why, and I'll do it right now.

Memphis police say brazen drug dealers are behind bars after a sting operation called "Operation Blue Crush". All is quiet at 3293 Rosamond. That's because the alleged gang members who took over the house are in jail. Police say the suspects were so bold they advertised the fact that this was a crack house. When they were open for business, they'd flip an address sign over that read "Crack house".

Yeah. Read that last bit again.
It took two months, dozens of law enforcement professionals, and researchers from Memphis U. to arrest a bunch of drug dealers who PUT A FUCKING SIGN ON THEIR FRONT DOOR.
I would use words like "astonishing," "amazing," or "fantastic" except that those words usually have GOOD connotations.
So instead, I'm going to use "appalling," "ridiculous," and "total frigging waste of taxpayer dollars, right there."
I mean, DAMN.


It's long past time Asian women started having huge, overdeveloped breasts, wouldn't you say? Well, Taiwanese band Girls F4 think so, anyway. They got breast augmentations to bring them up to size, but went a bit overboard. They're no longer sex symbols; they're a 'source of social chaos'.
No kidding.

The members who call themselves Fanny, Amy, Stacy and Tiffany made their debut on Taiwanese television in July and it was clear that their F cups runneth over.

They charge about NT$100,000 ($5,260) per appearance for flaunting their assets on air and they have been kept busy despite criticism from Taiwan's first lady, Madam Wu Shu-chen that they were a 'source of social chaos'.

Now, see, THAT is "astonishing," "amazing," and "fantastic."
Just so you can see the difference.

You can feel secure now: because there aren't any other, more serious threats to your online safety out there, Microsoft is working with Nigeria to do away with 419 scams. That's right: not viruses, not identity theft, not fraudulent website duplication, oh no: the greatest threat to your safety is emails from Nigeria, promising millions if you give them your bank account number.
And, of course, this will be dealt with using the style, elegance, and panache that has become a Microsoft trademark.

Good news again for those of us who hate the RIAA and its huge, money-grubbing gorilla squad, led my MediaSentry, Inc.: the feds say spyware is an illegal trespass against your home computer. What does this mean? Well, it means that lady in Oregon is almost certainly going to win her lawsuit, for one. For two, it means that the RIAA and MediaSentry are going to have to find a new way to find out what you do online, rather than giving you spyware without your knowledge. For three, it means all you poor bastards who can't get rid of CoolWebSearch, Alexa, or Gator can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

One of videogaming's most vehement, outspoken critics has finally gone off the deep end. Jack Thompson, a lawyer from Florida, has proposed a videogame predicated entirely on the idea of mass-murdering videogame industry workers, and offered the industry a $10,000 dollar charity donation on their behalf if any company will make his game. No, I'm SERIOUS. He really DID say that.
The article goes on to say that

We'll keep you updated, however, as it is very likely that there will be some sort of response to Thompson's proposal from members of the videogame industry.

And whoa, were they ever right. I'm not even going to attempt to recount the saga to you in its entirety; check it out what Gabe said to Good Ol' Jack here.
I will add a note: yes, someone did take him up on it - and he welshed. Take a look.

And Finally:
In a total departure from the norm, here is evidence that there are, occasionally, smart people on the other team; a Democrat tells us why Dr. Condi Rice will be the next President of the United States if Hillary Clinton runs.
As it happens, this is exactly the scenario I've been propounding for the last year or more to anyone who would listen; Hillary WILL run in 2008, make no mistake. And despite her denials, she's poised to do exactly the same thing to New York that her husband did to Arkansas - she's going to leave mid-term for her new job if she wins, leaving her current responsibilities unfinished.
The thing is, some people are so bright that they honestly believe that a woman will be a good president just because she's a woman. The irony of the fact that the same people who think this are the ones who've been screaming loudest for the abolition of sexism seems to escape the media.
It's nevertheless true that they DO believe it, though, and that leaves the Republicans in a bind. See, with Dick Cheney's health failing, John McCain's approval rating in the toilet, and Rudy Giuliani's politics too far to the left for the hard conservatives, they have no obvious candidate who can oppose Hillary Clinton - except the extra-conservative, non-criminal, self-made, unmarried, black, female Dr. Condoleeza Rice.
Make no mistake - this is a nightmare for the Democrats. With the Democrat party leadership in turmoil following John Kerry's defeat in 2004, Hillary has the Democratic nomination sewn up in a way nearly unprecedented in Presidential races, but the core of the voters who would vote for her will also vote for Dr. Rice, leaving the already electorally-challenged Democrats in serious trouble.
Don't think so?
Place bets on whether Dr. Rice will get the black vote - the First African-American President EVAR!!!
Not only is she a woman, but she's never pandered to a philandering manslut - and thus has the women's vote, too.
Any minority is better than none, and so she gets the Hispanic and Asian votes, as well.
She's very conservative, and a self-made woman; the Republican constituency is in the bag.
This, on top of the fact that one of the great bastions of liberal electoral votes (California)is teetering on the edge of going red, puts the Democrats in serious danger of losing the White House until 2016.
Think I'm kidding? Let's look at California first. Despite having been almost traditionally a blue state, in the last election, the margin of the popular vote was less than 2% in favor of the Dems; 150,000 voters going indie would have put California in the red. Add that to the fact that California has their first Republican governor in years, and despite the media trying their best, Arnie just plain hasn't stubbed his toe seriously so far, and you have a state in serious danger of giving the Republicans an electoral majority so vast as to be literally unassailable. The Dems literally do not have an electoral map which allows them to win the Presidency without California.
Secondly, IF (and I stress if) Dr. Rice gets elected, after the scandals of the Clinton administration and the blunders of the Bush administration, all Dr. Rice would need to do to get re-elected is not screw up. So far she hasn't shown any great tendency to make major, catastrophic blunders, which doesn't bode well for the Dems. All their hype notwithstanding, let's be clear: they've elected one president since 1980. They did manage to elect him twice, but still: if Dr. Rice gets elected, the Dems will be 2 for 7, since 1980.
GO CONDI IN '08!